Waiting for assessment, worried I wont fit in here.

Hey everyone. This is the first time I have ever reached out.

I am currently waiting for an assessment. The wait doesn't seem to be too much longer- perhaps 12-14 weeks.

I chose to explore this path myself, with everyone but my husband saying the usual 'We're all on the scale', 'Never seen traits in you', which I have actually found quite hurtful. This has been the one place that gave me the 'Ah ha!' moment. 

I'm 39 years old and spent most of my life wondering why I'm so different. I even thought at one point that maybe I actually AM from another planet. 

I guess I'm in a place now where I'm worried that I won't fit in here either. That I'll have my assessment and they'll tell me- no, you're just very sensitive.

To me, it's more than that. To me it's a lifetime of emotional intensity, overwhelm, meltdowns, stimming and those blooming itchy labels. It's so much more than I can write right now, and I'm so afraid I just won't fit in again. Story of my life.

I don't think I have anyone to take to the assessment to talk about my childhood. My Mother is not reliable, she lives in a fantasy land. And my Father (possibly Autistic) lives in denial and would not have time because the whole idea of this assessment would seem ridiculous to him.

So that's where I'm at. I'm hoping to find some like-minded people- who listen to the trees whisper, feel the magic crawl up their spine as the leaves fall over the next few months, and those who understand that sometimes, ear plugs are necessary even when we spend time with our loved ones.

xx 

Parents
  • Hello and I am new to the Autistic community here.  I am 56 and two months ago had my diagnosis. Both my parents died in the past 18 months so had no one to join my 5 hour assessment. But it was handled so sympatheticly and my husband was able to support me.  I, like you have felt so 'seperate' all my life, never fitting in, not many friends,  having hobbies that are obsessive and needing days recovery after a single event.   And I too love the majesty of trees and nature and how safe they make me feel.  And aren't ear plugs are an absolute life saver.  I really hope your assessment goes as smoothly as mine did.  will be thinking of you. 

Reply
  • Hello and I am new to the Autistic community here.  I am 56 and two months ago had my diagnosis. Both my parents died in the past 18 months so had no one to join my 5 hour assessment. But it was handled so sympatheticly and my husband was able to support me.  I, like you have felt so 'seperate' all my life, never fitting in, not many friends,  having hobbies that are obsessive and needing days recovery after a single event.   And I too love the majesty of trees and nature and how safe they make me feel.  And aren't ear plugs are an absolute life saver.  I really hope your assessment goes as smoothly as mine did.  will be thinking of you. 

Children
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