Bagel's hello!

Hi, BagelSticks. Welcome to the forum.

You must share some tips on those social skills of yours with us. You're probably ahead of many of us in that department!

I'm a fan of the old maths, too, though I don't do much by way of actual practice. I like knowing about the various principles and applications. I'm currently reading, "Why Machines Learn: The Elegant Maths Behind Modern AI" by Anil Ananthaswamy. It's a bit dense, but I'm learning lots.

Paleontology is also something I'm interested in. My favourite recent book on the subject was "The Rise and Reign of the Mammals" by Steve Brusatte. It's amazing what a single tooth can tell you about an animal.

Hello! Thank you.
Honestly my social skills just invole long checklists in my head, it can be tedious but it works most of the time! ahaha

I love maths for similar reasons, I like knowing how it works, the principles etc, I find it very satisfying. But doing maths also is something I found that calms me down when needed. I have not read that but it sounds interesting! Would you recommend it?

I have read the paleontolgy book! It is truly an amazing one.

What else do you enjoy? If i may ask

BagelSticks said:

my social skills just invole long checklists in my head

We should compare checklists, then! Ask about the kids (check), any holidays planned (check), how's work going (check), try to keep eye contact (check, sort of; do teeth count?), try not to get carried away talking about yourself if you once went to the same place they're going on holidays (damn!).

I'm only half-way through the AI maths book, so I'll reserve my opinion until I'm done. It's quite technical, but it seems possible not to get too bogged down in the finer details and still get the gist of things. It's promising.

I like a lot of Stephen J. Gould's writing on palaeontology, too.

What else? Mostly boring stuff like step counting (which replaced cycling), more books (any subject), trees, etc. I have a house full of stuff I used to be really into before I moved on. Classic ADHD hyperfixations mostly, but "knowing how it works" certainly sums up my life-long passion, which definitely checks the Autistic "special interest" box.

BagelSticks said:

AND YES, trying to not get carried away talking about yourself is a bigg thing for me too. I like to think it is my way to be like 'HEY i relate to you' but I guess it doesnt always come across that way.

No, it probably doesn't come across that way to NTs, but Autistic people find it quite natural to talk about their own experiences (possibly at length) as a means of establishing empathy. It's a different communication strategy, not a wrong one, but how do you explain that in the heat of social combat? (More info here.)

BagelSticks said:

end up saying stupid stuff

We've all been there: trying to keep a straight face and style it out while mentally face-palming yourself! Your whole brain just one big "DOH!"

***

Wonderful Life, by Gould, is a classic, if you haven't read it.

***

What would you have done differently about "knowing how things work" if you knew earlier that your brain works Autistically? Me? I'd have had more of an explanation for why I feel the need to google ever third thing a person says! Then it gets hard to hear what else they're saying because inside my head I'm all, "Don't reach for your phone! DON'T reach for you phone!" while simultaneously trying to remember what I need to google as soon as I'm on my own again, and then losing track of the conversation entirely.

I think that's part of the whole "slow" Autistic processing thing. We're not particularly slow, we've just go so many things going on simultaneously that any one thing takes a bit longer to process, as it has to keep making space for all the other things.

My checklists often starts with how are you? or you doing okay? as basic as it is
Then there are branches based on the reply: no? - ask why, whats up? maybe if they are a friend if there is anything i can do to help. yes?- great, moving on!
Depending on the person, how much I know them and if i know anything specifc about them i might ask about that. Then follow a script in my head! 
Ask about a specific interest if i know, if i know the did something ask how it went. It often gets repetative though.. and people have found it annoying as I've been told. It makes sense to me but not to everyone I guess. AND YES, trying to not get carried away talking about yourself is a bigg thing for me too. I like to think it is my way to be like 'HEY i relate to you' but I guess it doesnt always come across that way.
By now my checklists and the branching has become a bit convoluted and i often struggle keeping up with it. and end up saying stupid stuff.

I would like to hear your opinion when you finish it!

I might have to give more of his books a read, I mainly watch stuff about it or read articles but I do enjoy reading books so will have to try!

Knowing how things work is definitely a big thing for me as well, I didnt realise it was because of my autism until very late unfortunately. 

My checklists often starts with how are you? or you doing okay? as basic as it is
Then there are branches based on the reply: no? - ask why, whats up? maybe if they are a friend if there is anything i can do to help. yes?- great, moving on!
Depending on the person, how much I know them and if i know anything specifc about them i might ask about that. Then follow a script in my head! 
Ask about a specific interest if i know, if i know the did something ask how it went. It often gets repetative though.. and people have found it annoying as I've been told. It makes sense to me but not to everyone I guess. AND YES, trying to not get carried away talking about yourself is a bigg thing for me too. I like to think it is my way to be like 'HEY i relate to you' but I guess it doesnt always come across that way.
By now my checklists and the branching has become a bit convoluted and i often struggle keeping up with it. and end up saying stupid stuff.

I would like to hear your opinion when you finish it!

I might have to give more of his books a read, I mainly watch stuff about it or read articles but I do enjoy reading books so will have to try!

Knowing how things work is definitely a big thing for me as well, I didnt realise it was because of my autism until very late unfortunately. 

BagelSticks said:

AND YES, trying to not get carried away talking about yourself is a bigg thing for me too. I like to think it is my way to be like 'HEY i relate to you' but I guess it doesnt always come across that way.

No, it probably doesn't come across that way to NTs, but Autistic people find it quite natural to talk about their own experiences (possibly at length) as a means of establishing empathy. It's a different communication strategy, not a wrong one, but how do you explain that in the heat of social combat? (More info here.)

BagelSticks said:

end up saying stupid stuff

We've all been there: trying to keep a straight face and style it out while mentally face-palming yourself! Your whole brain just one big "DOH!"

***

Wonderful Life, by Gould, is a classic, if you haven't read it.

***

What would you have done differently about "knowing how things work" if you knew earlier that your brain works Autistically? Me? I'd have had more of an explanation for why I feel the need to google ever third thing a person says! Then it gets hard to hear what else they're saying because inside my head I'm all, "Don't reach for your phone! DON'T reach for you phone!" while simultaneously trying to remember what I need to google as soon as I'm on my own again, and then losing track of the conversation entirely.

I think that's part of the whole "slow" Autistic processing thing. We're not particularly slow, we've just go so many things going on simultaneously that any one thing takes a bit longer to process, as it has to keep making space for all the other things.