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Finding hard to fit on a job and find resources or support

Deleted User

I've read a few books on autism, blog posts, government websites, and this forum (as well as the NAS-guides).

Everywhere I look, I see mention of support in one form or another—yet it often feels abstract and intangible for me. I don't quite find it, or know how to do it.

Do this happen to you too?

Here are just a few slightly disconnected thoughts, that you may want to reply to:

I struggle with what’s often called “autistic inertia,” which I understand is closely related to monotropism: you concentrate a lot in your SPIN and struggle to switch or find interest in other tasks. Mine's are programming and mathematics, and sometimes puzzles.

I worry that others might interpret it as laziness, which is uncomfortable, and it's rather that my own "obsession" pulls out me constantly. I'm also aware of what accommodations can be requested in the workplace, having done so myself. It does feel patchy and temporary, but still, it's better than nothing. In my last job as programmer I couldn't switch off from a specific task, for example, and found very hard to connect with peers at all. So I resigned.

I would also rather work from home, due to the social issues I tend to have, but am unsure whether this is a reasonable requirement. Or a job where the contact with different people is very reduced, since I get exhausted after talking to 3-5 people. Sometimes less.

I’ve found there is some help available for adults with disabilities (in Scotland), but at times I feel like an impostor for accessing it—like I’m taking support away from someone else. I suspect this is because many of my struggles aren't physical and are therefore harder to “see.”

I thought that hearing about your experiences might help me and others form a more concrete picture of what support can be found, or practices, and so on, that can improve our autistic life.

I hope this doesn't sound too bad, I just prefer to be quite frank and direct.

Parents
  • Unknown said:
    Everywhere I look, I see mention of support in one form or another—yet it often feels abstract and intangible for me.

    I think what you are finding is that support does not exist in a meaningful way for autists in a big way because we all have different needs.

    The nature of a spectrum like autism means we all have different traits at different intensities and often these present differently from person to person because we often develop our own ways to cope with some things but not others.

    What we actually need is for someone with a knowledge of the subject and traiining in helping those affected by it - a psychotherapist in other words.

    Each path to help us will vary from any other autist because of our unique differences / lived experience / traumas and capabilities.

    The NHS lacks the resources to provide anything close to this so they dont' even try. It is entirely understandable unfortunately so private treatment is the only effective solution from what I can see.

    Many therapists lack autism knowledge and/or experience so there is a smaller pool of them to choose from, and even with a capable therapist lined up, we are often our own wost enemy and will not open up to be vulnerable to let the treatment begin as we have trust issues / cannot unmask or can be too stubborn to accept the need to change.

    So in essence, you need to be able to afford therapy, be willing to open up to it and be willing to go through the pain of therapy to get the benefit of it.

    That is how I see it anyway - I hope it is direct enough. This is for the sort of support that makes a real difference. If you only want someone to listen to you and tell you it will be alright then this is a different conversation.

    There is no rainbow and unicorn solution waiting for you - you have to go get it and it is hard, sometimes expensive work

  • in reply to Iain

    It makes sense, but there might be ways to get essential help; at least in my personal case, I can't continue paying a psychologist, it is too expensive. One option is to wait until I can do it, another one is to try to get support for that.

    For example, I'm still figuring out whether the Adult Disability Payment -linked in OP- should be requested for an autistic person to pay a psychologist. That would be very valuable for some of us at least.

    They do say that:

    managing therapy or monitoring a health condition

    but I am still considering it.

  • in reply to Deleted User
    Unknown said:

    They do say that:

    managing therapy or monitoring a health condition

    but I am still considering it.

    I would think that if you can tie the therapy into a specific, identifiable health condition then this could be the lever to move the decision for them. 

    Therapy can cover such a huge range of subjects that in this case, I would use it for 50% focus on the health issue that justifies it and the rest would be on other autistic issues I need help with.

    Agreeing this up front with the therapist should be straightforward as no health condition exists in isolation so treating related issues can be justified.

    Good luck with it.

Reply
  • in reply to Deleted User
    Unknown said:

    They do say that:

    managing therapy or monitoring a health condition

    but I am still considering it.

    I would think that if you can tie the therapy into a specific, identifiable health condition then this could be the lever to move the decision for them. 

    Therapy can cover such a huge range of subjects that in this case, I would use it for 50% focus on the health issue that justifies it and the rest would be on other autistic issues I need help with.

    Agreeing this up front with the therapist should be straightforward as no health condition exists in isolation so treating related issues can be justified.

    Good luck with it.

Children
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