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My son is 14 and has been shall we say a handful since he was about 5 or 6, he has been tested for ADHD twice but comes up just under the limit. We have taken him to CAMHS twice for different issues but they didn't have funding so could do no work and he was always looked at as being the immature naughty child but now when things are meant to be sinking in they aren't and there are a few professionals saying they are pretty certain he is on the ASD spectrum! His anger is really really bad and getting worse as he gets older and bigger and is quite vulnerable as in someone tells him to do something or go somewhere he will easily.... He goes missing for days and then will give. £600 bike away for some sweets.. We got to a paediatric consultant tomorrow in the hopes we can at least get some ideas or help although I know it won't be that quick or that easy it's just really hard as I am sure you all know. This has gone on for a long time and now it's getting closer it's scary! I don't want a label for the sake of one but if he needs help then it has to be worth it. What do I do ???? How do I feel???? ... Sorry

Parents
  • Hi Sarahg66,

     I have two on the Spectrum who are polar oposites. One very introvert, the other with very challenging behaviour and often Angry, so my heart goes out to you.

    If it turns out that your son does have the condition then hopefully, help will be at hand, however, we have been more or less left to get on with it, which has been hugely challenging at times.

    My problem it seems, is knowing who to ask for help and my failure to keep knocking on doors repeatedly until I get help. I understand that NAS offer advice on behavioural issues and may even be able to point you in the direction of a specialist.

    The naivety is particularly distressing I know. My sons frequently had his wallet, money, phone and personal belonging taken off him by others. He even gave his PIN out, then we had to track down where all his money had gone.

    The anger is the part I find most difficult to deal with and as you say, It has gotten worse as he's got older. In our case I believe this is due to his inability to cope with the growing demands society puts on him. Sometimes they just become overloaded.

    My son has left education now (aside of a small test he has to complete.) but we've really noticed that the volume has turned down on his outbursts. Don't get me wrong he still has them, but they are not quite so intense. Is your son different during the holidays? If so, it maybe that he just feels overloaded.

    I've begun Osteopathic treatment for him which has also helped. It seems to calm him and give us some respite from the noise. She is Autism Aware thankfully, so that helps.

    I'm sorry I cannot be of more help really, But i do know how difficult it is. Please keep us posted re his results and do ring the NAS helpline to see if they can offer further advice.

    Kind Regards

    Coogybear XX

Reply
  • Hi Sarahg66,

     I have two on the Spectrum who are polar oposites. One very introvert, the other with very challenging behaviour and often Angry, so my heart goes out to you.

    If it turns out that your son does have the condition then hopefully, help will be at hand, however, we have been more or less left to get on with it, which has been hugely challenging at times.

    My problem it seems, is knowing who to ask for help and my failure to keep knocking on doors repeatedly until I get help. I understand that NAS offer advice on behavioural issues and may even be able to point you in the direction of a specialist.

    The naivety is particularly distressing I know. My sons frequently had his wallet, money, phone and personal belonging taken off him by others. He even gave his PIN out, then we had to track down where all his money had gone.

    The anger is the part I find most difficult to deal with and as you say, It has gotten worse as he's got older. In our case I believe this is due to his inability to cope with the growing demands society puts on him. Sometimes they just become overloaded.

    My son has left education now (aside of a small test he has to complete.) but we've really noticed that the volume has turned down on his outbursts. Don't get me wrong he still has them, but they are not quite so intense. Is your son different during the holidays? If so, it maybe that he just feels overloaded.

    I've begun Osteopathic treatment for him which has also helped. It seems to calm him and give us some respite from the noise. She is Autism Aware thankfully, so that helps.

    I'm sorry I cannot be of more help really, But i do know how difficult it is. Please keep us posted re his results and do ring the NAS helpline to see if they can offer further advice.

    Kind Regards

    Coogybear XX

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