Daily hardship

Exhausted247 said:

just feels like I'm on my own most of the time dealing with kids behaviour and my own issues is exhausting

What age are the kids?

It helps a lot once you can get them off to school and you have some time to yourself.

Before that stage, can you get them off to any nursery classes to give you a break?

Once you get to the point where you have a decent block of time to yourself I found it helps a lot to learn to meditate so you can put yourself into a relaxed state quickly and give yourself maximum time to recharge before those little balls of chaos erupt back into your day.

Another useful option is routine and chores. Once they are old enough start to give the kids a chore to do that is in their capability and give them a sense of responsibility for it. You can reward them with pocket money at the end of the week to give them a sense of earning potential so they start to pick up life skills understanding.

If you are doing other chores / housework at the same time then you get it all out the way sooner and can create routine which helps many autists regulate better.

Enforce bedtimes then give yourself time to relax in the evening since the chores are done. This may not be viable every day but every bit helps.

It can be hard work keeping the routines and discipline with the family but the greater reward of knowing everything is done and having more time to recharge is the best trade off in my view.

These are just my opinions and before anyone thinks I mean discipline in a mean, agressive way. I don't.

Exhausted247 said:

just feels like I'm on my own most of the time dealing with kids behaviour and my own issues is exhausting

What age are the kids?

It helps a lot once you can get them off to school and you have some time to yourself.

Before that stage, can you get them off to any nursery classes to give you a break?

Once you get to the point where you have a decent block of time to yourself I found it helps a lot to learn to meditate so you can put yourself into a relaxed state quickly and give yourself maximum time to recharge before those little balls of chaos erupt back into your day.

Another useful option is routine and chores. Once they are old enough start to give the kids a chore to do that is in their capability and give them a sense of responsibility for it. You can reward them with pocket money at the end of the week to give them a sense of earning potential so they start to pick up life skills understanding.

If you are doing other chores / housework at the same time then you get it all out the way sooner and can create routine which helps many autists regulate better.

Enforce bedtimes then give yourself time to relax in the evening since the chores are done. This may not be viable every day but every bit helps.

It can be hard work keeping the routines and discipline with the family but the greater reward of knowing everything is done and having more time to recharge is the best trade off in my view.

These are just my opinions and before anyone thinks I mean discipline in a mean, agressive way. I don't.

Thanks for the advice iv just started doing pocket money my kids are 10 years old and it's so difficult to deal with them iv had to present with them at all times as one is very aggressive and violent. It's nice in one way to send them into school but it's hard work just to get there then I have to deal with explosive behaviour when they get back from school so I feel like no matter what I do it's hell on earth.iv had so many people from school and family support workers giveing me advice but nothing works. One of my boys is so good and compliant in school they don't believe me when I said he is masking in school and his anger afterwards is relentless and his brother gets the worst of it or me as I'm having to protect him it's so difficult I'm waiting for all the assessment results to come back hoping that this will help.

If not maybe separate them one lives with dad for a few days and swap over so it's fair as I'm running out of ideas.

Anyway thanks for the advice everyone it's appreciated and it helps knowing that I have this platform to turn to.