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Hello again

mr.chip

Hi,

I haven't been on here for quite a while. I'm just testing this thread to see if it works.

[Interlude]

Well, it looks like it has worked. 

I'm used to second guessing my own paranoia, especially after being in a psychiatric hospital for longer than was needed and suffering accordingly. I've been unhappily living in the community since discharging myself (twice!) for about 6 months now. Not getting anywhere but all the mental health services do when I'm in distress and call 111 is to keep telling me to go to the doctor to get an autism or ADHD assessment done, as if this will solve everything. So I'm naturally dubious, especially as I've been traumatised anew this past year, but I'm probably progressing from being in outright denial about autism to being sensibly open to the possibility that I might not, under the cover of many years of 'social camouflaging', be as neurotypical as I've tried hard to be. Maybe it's just getting harder to keep that mask on as I struggle in particular moments of crisis, or maybe I genuinely am neurotypical but that I'm in denial about this as much as being in denial about being neurodivergent, if this is possible. 

Yes, it is hard at the moment. 

A

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  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    The choice is overwhelming, to be honest. I prefer it in hospital with the routine. I've heard this from others, whether they're coming out of hospital, prison, or whatever institutional-based setting. More than likely money is a big factor so not only is choice overwhelming but you have to 'engage' in the market to get the most affordable deals. As an example, I've recently survived a shopping session at Aldi where I tried to buy groceries for the week at around £20, which statistically seems feasible. But, as always, I've just got no will to do anything. I try to recall things that I've done before, things that I've noted others doing, and just try to go along with whatever 'normal' is. Being human, hunger is something that I can't ignore but I'll try to live on a budget like everyone else and just hope that I'm doing it right.