Recently diagnosed

Hi, I'm also recently diagnosed and I had Autism suggested whilst in a mental health appointment. It's taking me a while for the diagnosis to sink in, and my feelings have been very changeable since; I hope you're alright there. Welcome!

Hi Sammy Joe  

Hello Sammy Joe and welcome.

Mental health services can be hard to navigate as an undiagnosed Autistic person - not least of which, because many clinicians are not confident in their knowledge around Autism - so it often feels as though the "Service User" (aka person seeking support) is a perpetual teacher: inducting each Clinician they encounter into to ways, reasonable adjustments needs of an Autistic person in general (and specifically: the particular Autistic person in the room with the said given Clinician) ...which is quite frankly disappointing, exhausting and frustrating.  It can make people feel unseen, unheard and invalidated.

Hopefully, from this community here; you will learn that you are not alone (masking can mean we often partially hide "in plain sight" in the real World).  If you deploy a fidget toy in a public place - look around to spot who can't take their gaze off it easily ...they might just be neuro-kin!  I try to keep a spare, new, pocket money (about £2 from The Works stationery shop) fidget toy in my bag - to give as a gift to a stranger like that person watching intently - sometimes a new friendship can be forged, other times it just stops them staring at me (I'll take either scenario as a win).

I would be upset if you felt misunderstood here - although, as members we are not clones of one other - so miscommunications can occur - often fixed soonest: by saying so!  (We can be a direct-speaking style community here).

The "after Autism diagnosis" phase as an adult can strike people as weird or wonderful - wherever you may be within that territory - there are highly likely to be a range of people here who "get it" and can speak from a place from further along their own discovery of what their Autism means in their lived experience.

Hi, sorry I’m a bit late dropping a message.

It is so difficult feeling alone and misunderstood but I’m sure this is something most if not all of us will be able to relate to.

I hope finding out has given you some clarity and answers. If you ever want to talk then please feel free to drop me a message. I’m always happy to make a new friend

If you prefer group chats and want or need to discuss anything then the people on here are very supportive. 

Hopefully you won’t feel quite so isolated once you start connecting with people. Best wishes

The report you got will hopefully account for the behaviours that you demonstrated, which satisfied the diagnosis. Embrace it would be my advice, and I would encourage you to share this news with trusted people around you - You might find that the more others understand you, and indeed you yourself, the smoother things may be. Good luck 

Hello Sammy Joe, 

Welcome to the online community. Thank you for posting and congratulations on getting your diagnosis! As well as the online community the NAS website also has advice and guidance pages and a service directory which I highly recommend exploring. I will post some links below which may be useful to you. 

What is autism: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism 

After diagnosis: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/after-diagnosis 

Service directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/autism-services-directory

I hope this helps. 

Gina Mod 

You've done what I did, even though I tried not to, and I see others do the same. You thought it would be a magic wand but it does not fix things.

But it is a help.  Knowledge is power, but you need to know what to do with it. This is where looking online and in books will help, but use your own eyes and ears. Only you know your life and can apply it. But try not to over think, even though you will.

I'm pretty sure I had some social anxiety disorder as well as being autistic, I physically could not go up to people. Alcohol is a social lubricant I believe it is called, it stops you being so worried about what people think.

But you can talk to strangers on here and it may not seem so hard, although you get more time to compose replies, a real life might not be so bad.

Hello  Thank you.

Hello  

Thinking now what is exactly what's been in my head of late and the expecting my life to somehow be different except I don't know in what way I was expecting there to be a difference.

Maybe being armed with the knowledge of knowing I'm autistic would change my life and I would suddenly be able to interact with others without masking and feeling the effects of anxiety.

That hasn't happened of course but I think part of me secretly hoped it would and still will. 

Thanks for the tip on trying to relax to mask less. I need to try and be more relaxed I always feel on edge and anxious. My mind is always racing with anxious thoughts but I'm diagnosed with anxiety disorder which doesn't help. 

I'm hoping my new book will help me with the masking and anxious thinking.

Welcome and congratulations on the diagnosis! I'm new here as well and I've found this to be a friendly and welcoming place.

I hope you enjoy your time here!

Assessment is a strange process. It is hard not to think of it as a test and you don't want to fail. You think you have done too well or are not bad enough. When they tell you, you are nervous, then don't know what to say. It's a draining experience being under the spotlight.

It takes forever to come, then seems quick, then takes forever for the result, then it's suddenly over. And you aren't the focus anymore. You put everything on hold waiting, now it's done, now what - I still feel the same. My life hasn't changed.

Masking is kind of unconscious.

I think the thing is to try and relax. The temptation is to take everything too seriously because you are trying to fit in and absorb and analyse everything. But it means fun is missing.

Be less scared of what people think. Easy to say, hard to do.

Hello Sammy Joe glad to see some fresh faces around here, seems to be more everyday! 

I think I felt all of that when I was waiting for my assessment. The assessment was actually an anxious time and the wait was unbearable some days. 

I'm glad it's over now though and I have the answers. I waited a long time and it feels great to finally have some of the answers as to why I'm different to everybody else. 

It's a bit surreal really and I think it will be a long time to finally process everything. It's a lot all at once. 

I don't really understand masking. I think it's something I do a lot, probably more than I should. I know it's not exactly healthy but I find I mask automatically and don't even really realise when I'm doing it. I only know after because I feel completely drained with zero energy. 

I bought a book about autistic masking from Amazon.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1803882115?ref_=cm_sw_r_apan_dp_CHNXS5PMEXDDEE3ERB4Z_1&starsLeft=1

I'm hoping this will be helpful and give me a better understanding of masking and how to hopefully not do it as much.

Happy, relieved, sad, angry, lost, confused, denial are all common. You may also think there was a mistake and have imposter syndrome. It takes a while accept it. You also wonder about masking, whether you do it, to what extent you need to do it still, who you really are, what you like, whether to stim more, what stresses you, what to change, whether to ignore it, what to do with your life, what mistakes you made, is something could have been better, different, etc.

Unfortunately, unless you are in higher education or have other treatable issues you're now an adult, so it's mostly up to you. 

You can talk on here. There's a range of people and experiences. Most likely someone will either have done whatever you're concerned about. The main thing is to find you are not alone. 

I've found I have been able to talk to some people in the real world, but even if NTs are sympathetic, they don't really understand what is in your head and or course they don't want to hear about it every day.

Thank you. I've had a mix of emotions, at first I was numb and then happy to finally have answers to things I've wondered for ages, and then I've been sad because I didn't know sooner. 

It's a bit of a whirlwind but I'm sure it will all figure itself out.

Now I'm left sort of wondering what to do next. When I was diagnosed I received helpful leaflets to explain about autism but that was it and now it's just me. 

Makes me wish I had friends to talk to about it. I found the advice and guidance page on this site helpful though and I'm hoping I'll make a friend or two here over time as well. 

My time with healthcare professionals wasn't great but I'm trying to be positive and look forward now and move on from the bad times

Hello. Welcome to the club.

I'm glad you view it as a good thing. I hope it helps you to understand yourself and find a better way forwards.

I don't know if you have a mix of emotions?

You've been caught a good deal earlier than some. If you've been engaged with healthcare professionals I hope you've not had too hard a journey so far.