Hello. Finally decided to reach out as Im struggling to help a friend with ADHD/Autism. Still finding it very hard to assist. Partly because the urge to help means when they are really distressed and tell me very forcefully to [insert very hurtful words here] I am desperately worried they may hurt themselves.
So many awful experiences with NHS care that just doesn't seem able to a) listen to him, and b) pass him from pillor to post, where the same past history of misdiagnosis keeps coming up and alienating him, adding to anxiety. Latest was a dental appointment that was rushed, brusque and resulted in him fleeing thd room, hitting himself and collapsing in despair.
I guess im just wanting to see how others cope or manage to support. Two year learning curve and much better able to understand him and how my own preconceptions needed challenging. He masks and tends to reward helping with what I believe is called 'attract then attack' behaviour, probably because he is so used to bad responses he finds it hard to trust or believe the help isnt conditional.
I struggle though with what appears to be a lack of empathy for my own distress/stress in handling people. Ironically I mask as a result. Boundary setting is really tough.
