Advice for newly referred person - Autism

You can't control what you don't understand.

I’m in a similar situation but I asked to be assessed, currently waiting to hear back from Right to Choose. My only advice is read as much as you can about autism and autistic people’s experiences. There is so much to think about and it can seem overwhelming but knowledge is power. 

Speaking for myself (male aged 60 diagnosed ASD lvl1 four years ago if that means anything :-)

Nowadays I recognise that being autistic is overwhelming to most people with the condition to start with - so in a strange sort of way you might be getting a hang on reality there.  So although it seems pretty sh1tty it could be a good thing to realise that is how you are feeling - then comes the skill of identifying what can be done about it and putting what you learn into practice.... 

Diagnosis does seem to provide some people who report on this forum with quick ease - others not.  Personally there is still the anxiety loaded process of learning how to reduce one's anxiety and remain "functional"! 

I found satisfaction and relief to start with, then denial, anger, then gradually coming to terms with it and eventually some happy times.  ( kind-of like a weird Kubler Ross grief cycle maybe) 

Realisation that one has been judging oneself by neurotypical expectations (in an autistic fashion) and learning to recognise what is objectively taking place is tricky for someone coming to diagnosis later in life maybe.  Having perhaps having had an partially informed and/or distorted perspective on some things and how one fits within them for one's life thus far.

Hold on to the prospect of happier times and learn as much as you can about the condition and yourself and how to negotiate life to a happier you I would suggest.  Revel in the greatness of your autistic super-powers but realise that autism it does come with some things that require hard work to keep monitored and managed.

Be kind to yourself and seek out kind, trustworthy people to be with.  :-)

Best wishes 

This is what I have found useful: seeing you are not alone.

The more you engage, the more you will get out of it.

There are no stupid questions. If it worries you then it's real. 

Considering other people's questions and issues has also helped to clarify my own thinking.

Thank you. A lot of those things resonate with me and it is comforting to know that others have asked the same questions of themselves. 

Hello, you are in the awkward in between stage.

You are looking for the answer to your confusion, but are scared it might be right, or scared it might not be right (which puts you back to square one), or that you may be looking for an easy explanation.

I refused to do the screening test, then was dismayed at the result. I wanted to be normal, it's what I tried so hard to be since I was small. All the struggles and I finally had to give in.

Maybe it's not that bad is it, I can't really be can I. Except you sort of know.

Am I really disabled? What does it mean? Can I accept it? Did I screw things up? Oh my god, if only I'd known, my life would've been better, I want to go back. You end up grieving. It was hard for me.

Etc.

There are lots of thoughts. There is no easy answer. It takes time to process stuff, get it aligned in your brain, accept it and move on, like with anything.

Just be kind to yourself. Enjoy the little things.

It's fine to have a mix of emotions. I can be helpful to write things down to stop excessive looping of thoughts. You can also give name to your fears and see how they change. You can read about things.

Remember you were always you, and you still are, and you still will be in the future whatever. It does not stop you doing the things you want. It may help you to do them more easily with less stress. :-)

Thank you so much. I have felt all of those things and I really do view this as a positive step. I think the fact that my response wasn't what I expected it to be has added to the overwhelm. I appreciate your kind words. 

Hello there Moggsy, welcome to the community!

Feeling a plethora of emotions is pretty normal. Grief, joy, disappointment, contentment, etc, they can all be felt at once while pursuing and/or upon receiving a diagnosis. I personally was mostly happy with knowing that I have ASD, but there are a lot of people on here that can attest that they felt a myriad of feelings throughout the process.

My advice is to stick around and read up on other peoples’ experiences here on this forum. You may feel a ton of different emotions, but lonely should not be one of them.

Sorry, forgot to add I am female.