Newbie Q: does a professional diagnosis help? is it worth the stress?

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I don't have diagnosis,  as for now I decided its too much for me and I'm also not sure if I need it. All I need at the moment I have it. I am part of NAS community, I joined a local support group (not specific for autism, there are people with various conditions, it doesn't really matter, all if them are unique and none of them judges me like many NTs do. Not all NTs BTW! I wouldn't like to have imposter, which I already dealt with, I think it could come back if I get diagnosed with autism. I'm just living with suspicion of being on the spectrum,  it's not only my suspicion,  my therapist said the same, although I didn't mention that to him, what I suspect.  I just talk about my problems and experience and it turned out he listens, understands me and picked up on some things that I didn't know about myself. I filled varoous tests and their results point towards the ASD. But im not so much busy with it anymore. Currently I'm busy with aliens, Sci fi, also started with quantum physics only theoretically. I combine it all on my Sci fi alien stories, I've been writing for few years already and now as I know better, why I'm the alien in this world, I come here from time to time and then go back to my love - aliens. 

I have problems in my daily functioning,  but I doubt diagnosis would help. I'm gonna maybe discuss it with my therapist, who once asked me if I can imagine myself having the diagnosis.  I wondered it was weird. No other doctor would ask me that if I imagined myself having... for example Diabetes.  I hope I never get it. But if I get it, then I get it. Its just fact.

Loved this real-life scenario. It made me raise a smile as I can see myself doing the same thing!

Brilliant comment, thank you!

Another thing: some therapies work less well, or not at all, if you're autistic. Your emotions can be different and your susceptibility to trauma greater. While you could find out by trial end error, it might be nice to avoid that.

If the root cause of your depression is autistic overload, it will not go by socialising more, you need to ease off and live more sustainably. Conversely if you're not, you might want to push harder. This was one of my considerations.

I wanted to know so I could find ways to be happier.

MarcoPolo said:

Although there is a now new stress of: "what if they say I'm fine? then what the hell is wrong wi

My biggest fear, but since the point was to understand myself, I thought it best to know. Besides, they won't say you're fine, they'll just you don't have ASD. You can then engage a psychologist to see what other things could be possible.

MarcoPolo said:

what if they say I'm fine? then what the hell is wrong with me

Hi and welcome MatcoPolo

This was my fear, my thinking was if I don’t get a diagnosis then where do I look next? 
Curiosity and a need for an answer in the end was required for me as I was finding life very difficult. 
It’s been nearly 2 months since my diagnosis (age 50) and I am still trying to figure things out. 
I have a son who is diagnosed also so I felt a responsibility to not ignore my experiences, i didn’t want him to grow up having to mask heavily as I have as I know the consequences. I didn’t want him to feel alone and I wanted him to know that I truly understood him. 

Those were my reasons for seeking a professional diagnosis but I also totally understand why some would not feel the need to seek one. I think if you know then you know and a post diagnosis report is not going to change your experiences and challenges so self identification is completely valid.

I am sorry I am not able to offer more but just thought I would give my reasons. 

Thanks, what you wrote makes a lot of sense. If you can identify the traits within yourself and others in a community such as this one it can go a long way in silencing those imposter syndrome doubts. I’ve read a book recently where the writer who is also autistic said a few things I can relate to. Knowing someone out there share the same sensory sensitivities as you may sound minimal but it often helps to place another piece of the puzzle on the journey of self discovery. 

I function pretty well in certain scenarios, so I think I have no problem. My brain struggles to accept it.

Then out of the blue:

Sitting at lunch today commenting on here, somebody said "How are you" or similar, and I was stuck. I couldn't answer. Normally I just say ok, or busy, but because my focus was elsewhere I couldn't put full power to it fast enough and took it literally, then I couldn't hink of the right answer as I wasn't sure how I felt. Then I couldn't get out of it. I ended up saying "I don't know" and looking confused.

I've not been caught like that for a while.

Anyway, things like that also help to reduce imposter syndrome.

See my reply to Stuart in how I dealt with it. I'd say it doesn't so much go away, as become mostly irrelevant. We're all different and all unique, and we can all try to support each other.

I don't have a formal diagnosis and I dealt with my imposter syndrome by making autism my special interest and reading everything I could find about it, which all confirmed my own belief that I was on the spectrum.

Being part of this community also helped - when someone posted about an experience and I thought, yeah, I do / think / feel that too! Or when I posted about something I experienced and others said yeah, they knew exactly what I meant.

I also think that it doesn't really matter whether I would get a formal diagnosis or not, if others on this forum relate to me and I relate to them and can sometimes provide useful advice or insights, that makes me feel less like an imposter and more like part of a community. Which is the main reason most of us are on here. 

Most definitely, I still have a lot of doubt. Does it ever go away?

Hello Mr Polo, I think sometimes you may reach a point in your life either sooner or later where you feel that the issues you’ve experienced and had to deal need to be resolved or at least in some way known and acknowledged. For peace of mind and clarity it can feel important to know who you are, what makes you tick, what makes you tock too! For me personally a diagnosis was everything I felt I needed to make sense of myself, it was the self assuring hug for my ego to prove that I wasn’t the way I was because of anything I was doing wrong or that I was just in conflict with others ideals. It’s never too late to chase something if you really want it, the more time you spend on this forum the more I am sure you’ll be able to make more of an educated and informed decision. 

Imposter syndrome is real even when you have formal diagnosis. I am not sure how you deal with that without one.

profdanger said:

To prove - without a doubt - to my wife and family that it wasn’t just ADHD

Partial my reason as well. My mum was adamant it was just ADHD.. She was so surprised when my autism was confirmed as well as the ADHD.

MarcoPolo said:

Reflecting on life it suddenly makes sense why everything has been so hard.

Oh yeah, my thought is that it would help. That was a big reason why I pursued a diagnosis; To make clear why I have struggled as a black sheep my whole life. I had a lot of other reasons, though:
1. To prove - without a doubt - to my wife and family that it wasn’t just ADHD
2. To possibly help with accommodations for work
3. For potentially getting a diagnosis for my daughters (turns out one does have ASD/ADHD)

So I personally believe getting a diagnosis is helpful

Hi and welcome to the community.

I'm self discovered, and have not been formally diagnosed. I realised I could be on the spectrum when I was in my mid fifties, found the AQ50 and scored 42/50. I discussed it with the GP I was seeing at the time - he had previously worked with the community mental health team, so had some knowledge of autism assessment. He asked me to send him my AQ50 results and also the results of another test - I can't remember the results of that, or which one it was - and he agreed with me, but advised that there was little point in a formal diagnosis as I wouldn't get any help because I could work.

I then found this website and joined this forum and starting discussing it just like you are. Part of me wanted to do it, but part of me was worried about the stress of the assessment and the chance of being told "you're not autistic" because then I'd have no explanation of why I am like this. (Being told "you're not autistic" has happened to a few people who have posted on here)

I felt part of this community as soon as I joined, and felt fully understood for the first time in my life. That was more important to me than a health care professional confirming what I already really knew. And the GP made notes on my records and said I could request a diagnosis at a later date if I started to struggle more and felt it was needed.

Many people do feel a benefit from a formal diagnosis though, and that's perfectly valid and I support their choice. But we're all different. Whatever you decide, you are welcome here.

MarcoPolo said:

I've been having a long chat with AI on the pros and cons of getting diagnosed as I don't yet know if it would help me or just add to the stress.

My experience was that it helped me identify the cause of my issues, the specific traits that related to it and gave me the starting point to research these traits.

With this info I undertook sessions with several psychotherapists (until I found one that I gelled with) and was able to work through so much stuff and develop effective coping techniques for the traits that were most problematic for me.

It allows me to function quite normally now in society when I choose to but also gives me the confidence to walk away or say no when needed and generally gives me loads more energy to spend on things that are meaningful to me.

In essence, knowledge = power.

If you choose to use the NHS it can be a very long wait, even using the Right to Choose route and privately it is probably going to cost £1-2k, so these are factors to consider.

Thank you I think it's a long wait for most, though it varies depending on your area. I'm glad your depression diagnosis brought you validation, I also hope you're feeling better now. Yes give yourself time, consider things, maybe write out the pros and cons? That's something else I did and this also helped me to decide to go for an assessment.

Whatever you decide, I wish you happiness.

wow there is a really good insight in that first link.....

"There are a number of reasons that an adult might want to seek out a diagnosis by a professional… I needed to know that it wasn’t ‘all in my head’ and getting a diagnosis by a professional seemed like the most conclusive way to do that."

– Cynthia Kim, Adult ASD: seeking a professional diagnosis