Late diagnosed at 44 looking to connect in or near Chichester.

Hello again! I’m glad you enjoy Unmasking Autism! I’ve read Neurotribes, but haven’t heard of the others. How Autistics Grieve sounds very interesting in particular to me.

I actually lucked out and kind of stumbled on a friend group of mostly undiagnosed Autistic people. It just so happens one of my old college friends has a natural tendency to attract Autistic people into his circle, haha.

Here in the States we’ve got an organization similar to NAS (the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network) that has affiliate groups in certain states. I think NAS has something similar? I can’t find it, maybe Bunny can help with that.

On a similar note: Dungeons & Dragons and other roleplay gaming groups tend to almost always attract Autistic people. Most groups might be a little too old for your son just yet, but the ones I’ve been in have had a diverse age group of adults!

Hi and welcome to the community. I'm a woman in my sixties, self discovered in my fifties. I'm retired and enjoy reading and playing video games.

Hi Prof danger,

Great to connect with you. I've been devouring Devon Prices' book that you recommended so thank you!  I've also bought a few others ( Neurotribes, from Anxiety to Meltdown, How Autistics Grieve, Autism and the God connection and the Soul of Autism) the finally one I'm very keen to read. I'm not religious but very interested in spirituality and this book considers that Autistic people maybe spiritually gifted with telepathy, multisensory perception, or deep intuitive connections to animals and spirits. One of my special interests is and has always been the paranormal and Spiritualism. 

Have you read any of the above titles? 

The questions I have you may not be able to help with as you are so far away, such as how to go about connecting either online or in-person with other autistic people? I'm sociable ( in short bursts of time lol) and would love to meet up face to face with a community of people regularly either online or in-person a bit like a non-facilitated peer support group. There are lots of chats and forums but I'd like to find more scheduled weekly video chats or even in person based groups. I don't know any other late diagnosed adult Autistics in the flesh and I'd really like to. 

Congratulations on yours and your son’s diagnosis!

it’s totally understandable to feel a confusing mix of emotions post-diagnosis. One book that helped me to understand unmasking was “Unmasking Autism” by Devon Price. He uses a wide variety of different peoples’ perspectives on the matter.

I have an Autistic daughter, but she’s a bit younger at seven years old. I’m also from the States, so I don’t know anything about Chichester. So sorry if I’m not much help, but if you have any questions I’m more than willing to help as I can!

Hi Stuart,

I completely agree. I thought I would be relieved but I've been reflecting a lot and feel sad at the missed opportunities and lack of social support/ connection that I've struggled to make and maintain and have craved throughout life. I guess it explains why and how life has turned out the way it has but it's a confusing mix of feelings of relief and grief at once I'm experiencing.

That's good to know about the profiles. When I have time I'll add something to mine.

Charlotte

I was 56 when diagnosed. I work full time.

I'm pleased it has answered some questions for you.

Diagnosis has been painful as it highlights some missed opportunities and the life I wished I'd lived may have been possible after all. If if known 30 years ago what I know now ..., but times were different and I was hiding from myself.

If I had good social connections I may not have got the diagnosis. I didn't think they were important.

You can click on people's names at the top of the post and it will open their profile. If they put something you can see some details.

Hi Stuart,

Thanks for getting back to me! Lovely to connect with someone also late diagnosed. How old were you?

I've always felt different and on the peripheral of all social circles.  I was diagnosed with GAD 30+ years ago and then fibromyalgia after my son was born. But now looking back after receiving the Autism diagnosis, I think more likely those times were autistic overwhelm and burnout unrecognised. I didn't even realise what a master at masking I was until recently! I never considered I was autistic until my son started to have difficulty at school and then  he got diagnosed and I could see a lot of the same traits I had myself. 

Tbh I feel relieved. As now so much of how i've struggled to fit in, sustain the pace of life, find my place and my people, all throughout my life has got an explanation. 

How did you feel about it all when you got the diagnosis?

Are you working? And do you have good social connections?

Hello. I was diagnosed in the last couple of months.

I did it because I couldn't figure out what was up with me. I didn't expect it. It seems people can't see it in themselves. 

Now I know, I am not sure what to make of it. There have been a few threads recently from older recently diagnosed people and feeling a bit lost is common.

Were you diagnosed as a result of your son's diagnosis and seeing it in yourself? Or was it as a consequence of other issues, such as depression, which is common?

If it is the first one then you probably feel ok, just a bit confused and it means you may not be overloaded. If the second one then you need to be kinder to yourself and to simplify and manage stress.

I'm near Basingstoke. There doesn't seem to be a NAS branch near you (or me). I am not sure what people do.