Feeling misunderstood

Tonyelk142 said:

what, after all, is a pretty significant life event

I agree with you; even if people do not fully comprehend the implications, impact and details of someone's diagnosis: it is the decent thing to be respectful of the fact that someone has shared their all-important to them news.

I am involved with a community service organisation where many of my fellow members may be decades / a generation older than I am.  I cannot fully comprehend the reality of everyone's day-to-day lives / worries / concerns / challenges.  However, the minute I realise someone is telling me about a physical / mental health issue, or a relationship struggle - I make sure to stop what I am doing and really listen carefully (asking a few relevant questions when they have finished recounting their story - to help the person know they were heard and their situation was properly considered - even though it might be from my place of limited directly relevant experience).  

The next time I see them (not by text or email), I try to check-in with the person to see how things are going.  Not least, because you never know how many people (maybe only a limited number) they might have had the opportunity to speak with in person since your last time of meeting them.

Having reflected upon some of those potentially mismatched experience conversations with seniors - it has made me think a little differently about how I introduce my Autism diagnosis news to people (trying to help them to understand it is still very much a big processing point for me as I acclimatise to the news).

Recently, I have tried introducing the topic of learning about my Autism diagnosis by starting with saying 4 things:

1) my news is still quite fresh for me,

2) there is still a lot more for me to learn,

3) I am still working out how best to help people understand the support and understanding which I may sometimes need, and

4) that I am still experimenting with my suitable reasonable adjustments.

This approach seems to help more quickly sort people into 2 groups:

a) those who take the trouble to have a respectful conversation about my news, compared with 

b) the others ...who cannot be bothered (saves everyone some time trying to make a conversation work to "nowhere").

Tonyelk142 said:

what, after all, is a pretty significant life event

I agree with you; even if people do not fully comprehend the implications, impact and details of someone's diagnosis: it is the decent thing to be respectful of the fact that someone has shared their all-important to them news.

I am involved with a community service organisation where many of my fellow members may be decades / a generation older than I am.  I cannot fully comprehend the reality of everyone's day-to-day lives / worries / concerns / challenges.  However, the minute I realise someone is telling me about a physical / mental health issue, or a relationship struggle - I make sure to stop what I am doing and really listen carefully (asking a few relevant questions when they have finished recounting their story - to help the person know they were heard and their situation was properly considered - even though it might be from my place of limited directly relevant experience).  

The next time I see them (not by text or email), I try to check-in with the person to see how things are going.  Not least, because you never know how many people (maybe only a limited number) they might have had the opportunity to speak with in person since your last time of meeting them.

Having reflected upon some of those potentially mismatched experience conversations with seniors - it has made me think a little differently about how I introduce my Autism diagnosis news to people (trying to help them to understand it is still very much a big processing point for me as I acclimatise to the news).

Recently, I have tried introducing the topic of learning about my Autism diagnosis by starting with saying 4 things:

1) my news is still quite fresh for me,

2) there is still a lot more for me to learn,

3) I am still working out how best to help people understand the support and understanding which I may sometimes need, and

4) that I am still experimenting with my suitable reasonable adjustments.

This approach seems to help more quickly sort people into 2 groups:

a) those who take the trouble to have a respectful conversation about my news, compared with 

b) the others ...who cannot be bothered (saves everyone some time trying to make a conversation work to "nowhere").

Thank you for your advice.  That 4 point plan makes a lot of sense, especially the 3rd point about understanding my responses or behaviours to certain situations.