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52 year old possible autistic

mrdavidjk

Hi my name is david,


A while ago my daughters partner (a mental health nurse for kids) very gingerly informed me he thought i might be autistic and it got me thinking.
I looked round the internet (yes i know diagnosis from the internet) and found the aq-50 which i read through and saw a lot of similarities.  the results stated i was highly likely to be autistic but rather than being upset it kind of felt like a relief.

I have always felt odd, i struggle to talk to people beyond hello because i dont know what to say and often how to respond and i worry what they will think of me, i dont maintain eye contact and will actively go out of my way not to engage in social activities,
i am a world class procrastinator which i really hate because i dont know why i do this, and struggle to focus if there is more than one thing requiring my attention. there is more but this is what bothers me most.

Thinking about it now i wonder why i never considered it previously 

I have 2 grown children who are high functioning asd which i assumed was from my late wifes side as both her, her brother and father all have obvious traits  

I would like to get a formal diagnosis but i am so bad at getting what i want to say across to people because i just freeze, it doesn't occur to me or it takes hours to figure out what to say.
With the doctors being as busy as they are these days i wonder if anyone could help me prepare.
I tried to run the scenario through in my head and i get stuck at the first hurdle
I imagine telling the doctor i want to be screened for autism and he asks why and i freeze because i feel on the spot and cant answer or give a half answer which is what i usually do when i visit for something non urgent.

do you have any tips on dealing with the doctors because i imagine they will look at me and just say "well you have managed so far"

Also i was verry happy when after typing some of this up yesterday and then closing my browser and not posting it i came back today and all the text was still here. 

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the community!

    Many of us here are late self-realised or late-diagnosed, so you’re in good company! Slight smile

    These NAS resources explain the main signs / symptoms / characteristics of autism, and could be useful for the list I mention later:

    NAS - What is autism?

    NAS - Signs that a child or adult may be autistic

    In respect of getting assessed, this article is a good place to start:

    NAS - How to request an autism assessment

    It's from the NAS's diagnosis hub, which covers all stages of the process.

    For those who live in England, it also includes information about requesting an assessment via Right to Choose (which enables access to private providers who might have shorter waiting lists than the NHS, but with your referral and assessment still fully funded by the NHS).

    The NAS articles include links to the AQ-50, which you’ve already seen, and a shorter AQ-10. These seem to be the most frequently used / required by GPs in support of NHS referrals. (RAADS-R might also be helpful, but recent research has thrown doubt on its validity as a screening tool).

    I’d suggest using the website below to complete one or both of them. It provides a useful commentary for each questionnaire, and enables them to be completed online (with scores calculated for you), and saved as PDFs.

    If the results then support your suspicions, you can then print them off to take to the GP, perhaps along with a bullet-point list of some of the signs / characteristics that you recognise in yourself.

    Embrace Autism - screening tests

    You might also like to think about some of the reasons why you feel a diagnosis would be helpful for you, and include a few bullet points on this. The benefits listed in this article might be helpful for this:

    NAS - Deciding whether to seek an autism assessment

    In combination, these element of information are usually sufficient to support a GP referral. 

  • in reply to Bunny

    i would like a diagnosis for my sons/my benefit.
    Since my wife passed away my son and i have drifted apart and he has mentioned this and is quite upset by it.
    I hope that a diagnosis would help him to accept that i am not ignoring him it is just how i am.
    I have tried explaining but i dont think he understood or accepted it. 

Reply
  • in reply to Bunny

    i would like a diagnosis for my sons/my benefit.
    Since my wife passed away my son and i have drifted apart and he has mentioned this and is quite upset by it.
    I hope that a diagnosis would help him to accept that i am not ignoring him it is just how i am.
    I have tried explaining but i dont think he understood or accepted it. 

Children
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