Hi my name is david,
A while ago my daughters partner (a mental health nurse for kids) very gingerly informed me he thought i might be autistic and it got me thinking.
I looked round the internet (yes i know diagnosis from the internet) and found the aq-50 which i read through and saw a lot of similarities. the results stated i was highly likely to be autistic but rather than being upset it kind of felt like a relief.
I have always felt odd, i struggle to talk to people beyond hello because i dont know what to say and often how to respond and i worry what they will think of me, i dont maintain eye contact and will actively go out of my way not to engage in social activities,
i am a world class procrastinator which i really hate because i dont know why i do this, and struggle to focus if there is more than one thing requiring my attention. there is more but this is what bothers me most.
Thinking about it now i wonder why i never considered it previously
I have 2 grown children who are high functioning asd which i assumed was from my late wifes side as both her, her brother and father all have obvious traits
I would like to get a formal diagnosis but i am so bad at getting what i want to say across to people because i just freeze, it doesn't occur to me or it takes hours to figure out what to say.
With the doctors being as busy as they are these days i wonder if anyone could help me prepare.
I tried to run the scenario through in my head and i get stuck at the first hurdle
I imagine telling the doctor i want to be screened for autism and he asks why and i freeze because i feel on the spot and cant answer or give a half answer which is what i usually do when i visit for something non urgent.
do you have any tips on dealing with the doctors because i imagine they will look at me and just say "well you have managed so far"
Also i was verry happy when after typing some of this up yesterday and then closing my browser and not posting it i came back today and all the text was still here.
