Newley diagnosed

oh... well i definitely am then hahah...

Hi and welcome to the community - hope you find this forum useful.

Not everyone masks. If you don't think you are doing it, it could be subconscious or you aren't doing it much.

If you don't put any mental effort into how you talk, behave, hold yourself, or worry about what to say or do, or how you come across, or replay or script conversations, and if you don't feel tired after an interaction with someone you don't know well, then maybe you are not masking. If you feel like you are just being you, maybe you are.

Thank you for this information. I have just downloaded both the books on my podcast so will start listening to these from tomorrow .. 

I will take some time to look at these links too

Thamk you - i will take on board your answers and look at that book

Me too.... & thank  you Bunny for the links below. I've opened every link in a separate tab to read later (I promise I will read later) I started to read the after diagnosis one but I got very emotional and burst out crying. 

HelloTropics82! Congratulations on your diagnosis!

Like you, I was diagnosed with ADHD (then ADD) ages ago, but only recently in the past 4ish years got diagnosed with Autism. So I also had to deal with the idea that it wasn’t just inattention that was wearing me out, but also masking. Bunny shared some great resources, so start there. I definitely recommend the Self-Care for Autistic People book. I also agree with her that counseling is a fantastic idea after a diagnosis.

One thing to consider, especially so early since your diagnosis, is to be cautious who you tell your diagnosis to. Obviously a spouse or work supervisor is usually a good person to confide in, but outside that make sure you only tell people you feel really comfortable around. Then you can work on “unmasking” - or being your authentic Autistic self - around those people. For example, I am fully comfortable stimming around my safe people, but still mask the stimming around others. The goal is for you to become more comfortable with your unmasked self.

I wish you the best!

Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community.

Following a diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides perhaps feeling some relief about now having an explanation for our past difficulties, this can also include working through a phase where we experience confusion, uncertainty, so-called "imposter syndrome", and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving, and more. So please don't worry - it's normal! 

As for many others here, my own diagnosis turned out to be much more of the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of instant solutions for my difficulties.

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

You might also find this guidance helpful:

NAS - Masking

In respect of getting help to understand yourself better, therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you may instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS.

Before arranging it, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

This book also taught me some important principles and enabled me to make some immediate, helpful changes - perhaps you might find it useful, too:

Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!