Aww I’m so sorry to hear that you got bullied too. I’ve been bullied since I was like a toddler but secondary school was so much worse. I’ve never really been able to connect with people and I find I have a stronger connection with fictional characters more than anything, it’s like they are my friends and I can just go into my little world and be the me I really want to me. Kinda like in Kirby and the forgotten land. Ironically I named myself after the boss who “grants the powers” lol. Well as long as you are happy here then that’s all good, I mean finding out I had autism wasn’t really a surprise for me it just answered a question I needed answering but there is no cure for it, it’s just a label more than anything. I seemed to show quite a few traits of autism in my mid teen years but I always thought that was due to the bullying but again even if I wasn’t bullied, I’d probably still struggle but maybe not as much. This could be a sign of ptsd though so I’m looking into emdr as well. I hope we can chat again soon x 

Actually not. I have my therapy and my therapist issued a paper where he wrote he suspects me autistic,  I'm gonna have some consultation soon with a psychiatrist and I don't know how it goes further. I'm not in UK so there may be differences in approach. I was misdiagnosed earlier with tourette (stims and tics in stressful situations were taken for tourette) later a team of neurologists in specialised clinics told me it was not tourette but I have sensory differences. That's all they say it was almost 20 years ago. At age 35 I accidentally found out about autism and surprised how much the icd11 criteria describe my problems and reasons for being bullied, abused and isolated my whole life. As for now the only thing I have is suspicion and some tests rests that point out to autism. Even if I never get officially diagnosed due to obstacles,  I will stay here. I found here some pen palls and I kinda feel fit here because of the similar issues I share with many others here. Knowing that I'm not the only one "alien" in thus world is very important. 

Hi there, thank you for replying! I’m glad you have been enjoying your time here. Sorry to hear you are suspecting to have autism, hope you will get answers soon. Are you on the waitlist? 

Hi, welcome to the community! I'm not diagnosed, only suspected. I'm here one and half year already. This is my favourite online place and I hope you will like it too.

Thank you for being understanding. I’m not a parent so I won’t know what being a parent is like. But with my mum I think she has realised over the years about autism and got a better understanding of it. But I think what really strained our relationship was her older sister who was a real bully to me and well everyone but I got the brunt because I was different and didn’t defend her or do what she wanted. So I could tell her sister was words I can’t use in public or in my mind even. But she was a right old narcissistic bully who just didn’t get happy unless she bullied someone, and if someone wouldn’t obey her then she would be worse than on ogre! But no one else could see that and no matter how many times I tried to explain no one would listen to me and they would all obey her but I wouldn’t, I would do anything to avoid her, even if it meant living near a volcano or something. Well long story short she started being horrible to her mum (my nan) and my mum and the younger sister and that’s when everyone realised how I was right! Guess I have the last laugh but that’s not the point, if they had, or if my mum had at least listen to me, then maybe I wouldn’t be in such a traumatic mess. I’ve also noticed when people I don’t even know aren’t very nice because I just get that sense of unease. Suppose people would say it’s like an aura of negative vibes maybe. I have quite a few examples but I feel the one I shared was the biggest deal for me. 

I think that it's true that although autistic people can struggle with social things many  have a very finely tuned ability to pick up on subtle inconsistencies, emotional undertones, or hidden agendas, even if they struggle with typical social reciprocity. I can tell straight away if I don't like someone. It sounds like you've had a tough time with the bulling which is in no way your fault, it's understandable that it still causes you problems. Maybe others can help as I'm sure you're not alone here being bullied! It's really tough being a parent and all parents make mistakes. Does your mum understand autism or is this all new to her too? Your doing a good job of talking about this, I didn't tell anyone about my problems for many many years and I wish I had.

That does make sense actually. My mum always passes comment on how well I can hear things. It’s comes with its advantages and disadvantages I guess. As with people I have found like I can tell when someone isn’t as nice as they come across or I can tell I’m not going to gel with them but I have never had this experience with anyone I feel I will trust and like if that makes sense? It’s like I just naturally tune in on the negatives. Like do the negatives follow me around or do I just naturally seek it out? Just with my mum was more caring and understanding when I was going through the bullying and moving schools and exams. Like I can’t seem to move on from the past. Sorry if that has gone off topic 

Sorry to hear you got bullied, I always knew I was different also. I had really mixed feelings after I was diagnosed but try and remember the way people are diagnosed is by looking at all your autistic traits as deficits and the diagnosis itself is sometimes presented as a disorder. Don't get me wrong it's really tough being autistic but now I look at so many traits that I have as positive things not negative. I can hyperfocus and learn about stuff I'm interested in really quickly and solve problems, I am hypersensitive to noise and smells and I spot and find so many things in nature other people miss. I don't have to worry about making friends because I am happy with a few really close people. I really like the quote :

Neurotypical syndrome is a neurobiological disorder characterized by preoccupation with social concerns, delusions of superiority, and obsession with conformity,

I can't remember who said that but it makes me laugh. You are still the same person and I know it takes time but many people find that a diagnosis does help them with things later. 

Ahh ok interesting to hear your experience. I got diagnosed recently but I must admit I wasn’t that surprised when I got told I have autism as I kinda knew deep down. But years ago when it got suggested I didn’t want to believe I had autism as it was frowned upon and more vulnerable to bullying. Unfortunately I got bullied since like nursery but at the time I didn’t show many traits as a child. I do feel disappointed I have autism though because I do feel that’s what stopping me from moving on from the past but I could be completely wrong. 

I think it's really a really primal thing, we didn't evolve in houses with soundproofing but were surrounded by the sounds of nature. Once I got my head around being diagnosed as autistic I found it a really positive thing, it did take me a while to process though! Also it took me a while before I was confident to just tell people I'm autistic.

Hi there, thank you for your reply. Yeah I’m still getting used to being here lol. I haven’t heard of wasp nest purring as all. When I see a wasp I get so scared in case I get stung and that is so painful for me but I will have to listen to the purring somewhere now I’m intrigued. I always like listening to waterfalls and rain/thunderstorms and a crackling fireplace when needed. I also find some particular games relaxing with nature sounds too. 

Hi and welcome! I'm new here too and so far found others to be helpful, kind and understanding which is not always easy to find elsewhere! I'm not a gamer but I love the outdoors and the sounds of nature. Have you ever heard a wasp nest purring? Weird one I know but it's one of my favourite sounds, they do it late in the evenings when it's hot.

Hi there. Thank you for replying. Ah we’re both in our 20s and just been diagnosed, well at least we know now! Omg sonic is so fun to play as well! I haven’t played many of his own games but he is great in the Mario and sonic summer and Winter Olympic Games! Glad I’m not the only one who likes game especially light hearted ones! I’m literally just 100% Kirby and the forgotten land! 

I completely get where you’re coming from with the music. I tend to listen to lofi music with the rain and fireplace sound effects but if I can’t sleep or I wake up and my mind is racing with distressing thoughts I tend to put more upbeat background game music on as like the music is like matching how my mind is pacing if that makes sense? It’s hard to explain. Eg I’ll play some upbeat music from Simpsons hit and run or something until my minds more focused on the music. Just sometimes and well quite often as soon as I am more well “chill” I get irate feeling again 

Hi and thank you for the welcome! Ah my name is actually named after the final boss in Kirby and the forgotten land! So yeah totally different  

Hello, I have just been diagnosed as well in my 20s and can relate to the light hearted games as a fixation.

One of mine is sonic the hedgehog and I saw a few YouTube videos pop up about how it’s actually a very common autistic interest.

Music is a dangerous one as I find myself on my phone for ages when I should be sleeping finding new songs I like and playing them on repeat. 

Hi and welcome aboard, interesting user name is it a play on Elvis or an elf or something totally different?

Ahh ok I’ve heard of those games. I have actually been looking into the sims franchise recently and they do look good fun. I’ve seen a couple of apps but the sims 4 that you mentioned I’m sure I have seen available to download to pc. Will have to check later! 

Yes hit and run came out in 2003 for ps2, xbox, GameCube and windows but I’m hoping they will bring a remake out at some point. There was also Simpsons road rage which came out in 2001 and then there was the Simpsons game which came out in 2007 for wii, ds, ps2, ps3 and xbox 360. They probably haven’t made any more games since the launch of tapped out in 2012 but unfortunately that got closed down earlier this year so who knows maybe more simpsons for consoles. 

I did not know that there were Simpsons games for the XBox - I looked it up and hit & run came out in 2003 for the original Xbox. There are no Simpsons games.available for the current console that I use.

My favourite games are Sims 4, Fallout 4, Assassins creed Odyssey, BioShock and Hogwarts Legacy.

Hiya! Thanks for replying. Aw I seem to be enjoying the chats up to now haha. Ohh what xbox games do you like? Correct me if I’m wrong but are there Simpsons games on the xbox? My uncle and cousins are big xbox players but sure I played Simpsons hit and run with them one time years ago. But can’t remember if that was their Xbox or PlayStation lol. I have ps2 purely for hit and run 

Hi and welcome to the community. I'm a woman in my sixties and I enjoy reading and playing video games, although I use an Xbox. Hope you enjoy chatting with us.