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Hi All

WolvesSong

Hello everyone.

I'm 56 and for my entire life I have felt different, a couple of years ago I watched a program called "Chris Packham - The walk that made me"

He described how he had been diagnosed with autism in his 40's, and almost everything he described leading up to that was very familiar to me, certain experiences were identical.

I spoke to my GP and was very fortunate to get an assessment quite quickly, which resulted in a diagnosis of ASD.

Day to day most of my symptoms don't affect me much, I'm used to them, and at worst has gained me a reputation for being "Mr Grumpy" which is fine by me.

However I do have 1 issue that really affects me, and that is noise.

If I'm in the office which is open plan, I feel that I can hear and understand every conversation in the room, its normally inane chat about sports or what was on TV last night.

I love loud heavy rock music concerts, but if people around me are chatting I cant help myself tuning in, and it ruins the concert for me. Luckily I dont encounter these vary often, I work from home most of the time since covid, and only visit the office once or twice a month.

My biggest issue on a daily basis is dogs barking, I seem to be surrounded by dogs, in fact we have a dog, but if he is outside and he barks, I bring him in immediately. Partly because in my head I feel that the noise bothers everyone around me the same as it bothers me.

I'm on edge all the time waiting for barking, our neighbours have a dog, and I find myself constantly checking to see if their back door is open, because the next thing will be barking.

It may only last a few mins, so is not unreasonable, but every time its like being physically assaulted, I get a massive rush of adrenaline.

I have spent a fortune over the years on earplugs, but they dont work, I just find myself, straining to see if I can hear the noise.

As an example I remember a few years ago a neighbour was having a party (another big trigger for me) I went to bed and I could hear the bass from the music, again not unreasonably loud, but still I can hear it. I put some ear plugs in and eventually after about an hour managed to get to sleep. I woke at about 2am strained to see if I could still hear the thud thud thud of the music, and I thought I could, I got up and looked out of the window to see what was happening, and it was all quiet and in darkness, which was when I realized the noise I could hear was our cat lying on our bed purring, and immediately the rage vanished.

I have recently referred myself for talking therapies, and had my 1st appointment, the therapist suggested coming on here to see if anyone has similar issues, and can suggest coping strategies, other than going to live in a cave on an uninhabited island somewhere.

Thanks

  • in reply to Bunny

    Hi, I already have loop earplugs, they reduce the noise, but I still have issues because the volume isn't really the issue, it is the fact that the noise is audible at all. I also have the flare isolate earplugs, but still have the same issue. I think I need to find coping mechanisms, have thought about hypnotherapy, but dont know how affective this would be with someone with autism.

  • Hey there WolvesSong!

    Being able to handle some sounds but not others is totally valid. I can’t stand it when other people play loud music, but I can handle loud music when I’m in my car by myself with music I enjoy.

    WolvesSong said:
    If I'm in the office which is open plan

    That is a NIGHTMARE. When I worked in IT for a year and a half it was an open plan and it just felt hellish working there because our office was also a thoroughfare through the building. Absolute sensory overdrive. That’s good to hear you only have to deal with that every once in a while.

    WolvesSong said:
    Partly because in my head I feel that the noise bothers everyone around me the same as it bothers me.

    You are definitely not alone on that point. Some of us with ASD feel less empathy, but many of us feel considerably more empathy. There have been so many times (especially before my diagnosis) that I have just assumed other people would be just as annoyed by my music, performances, children crying, etc as I would be.

    WolvesSong said:
    I have recently referred myself for talking therapies

    Awesome! I’m always happy to hear when people go to therapy because I have had mostly positive experiences with that. That’s so cool that your therapist recommended this site!

  • Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!

    That all sounds like a real struggle - I hope your therapist can help.

    You might find the information here useful in preparing a request for some kind of accommodation / reasonable adjustment at work (eg being allowed to wear headphones / earplugs, or moving desks):

    NAS - What support can I get at work as an autistic person? > Reasonable adjustments

    WolvesSong said:
    I have spent a fortune over the years on earplugs, but they dont work

    Speaking from experience, if your definition of them working is for them to be blocking out all noise, then I'm not sure that's either a realistic or desirable goal - it being one that I've previously pursued, but since dropped.

    As I understand it, no earplug can ever completely cut out all noise anyway because of bone conduction, which will still happen. Then there's news articles like this, which I keep seeing from time to time: The Guardian (for example) says "Multiple studies have shown that constant earplug wearing, day and night, over just one week is enough to result in new-onset tinnitus."  Perhaps your GP could offer some advice and support on that front?

    After much experimentation, I've settled on using a range of different products that reduce noise levels to different extents and in different ways, depending on what I'm doing. Overall, it's working pretty well for me, so I'll just share in case it's of any help.

    For video or phone calls where I need to focus, I prefer to wear over-the-ear noise-cancelling headphones (a style like Apple AirPods Max, Bose QuietComfort II, etc). For walks outside, I use Apple's AirPod Pro noise-cancelling model and listen to music as I go. 

    I rely on my Loop earplugs every day - they have different models for different uses. For all kitchen work, I wear Loop Experience 2 (the model they recommend for concerts, etc) whilst also playing music quite loudly via a speaker. It might seem counter-intuitive be adding more noise, but it helps me to be able to focus on the music, rather than on what I'm crashing and banging around, or the unbearable racket of the extractor fan. When I'm expecting to be around other people, I use Engage 2. For greater sound blocking, it's Quiet 2. And for sleeping, I've just started using their Dream earplugs, which I'm finding to be more comfortable than any others that I've worn.

    In case you haven't tried them out yet, I'll include my Loop earplugs discount referral link, which gives 15% off a first purchase. They have a 100-day return policy, even if they've been used.

    I also wear Flare Isolate (now discontinued), which offer a bit more noise reduction, when using any noisy machinery in the garden.