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Hi folks! New here, recently diagnosed

BlackSwan

Living up to my autism diagnosis, it's a bit stressful trying to figure what the "correct" way to "announce" myself to this community (a formal how-to guide would have been comforting lol), but to avoid lurking in the shadows indefinitely, hello everyone!

I'm a 42 yo, assigned female at birth but non-binary identifying Londoner of SE Asian ethnicity who finally got a late/adult autism diagnosis after a (hopefully half) lifetime trying and failing to mask to fit in, and the consequences of these.

I got on my local NHS waiting list last Spring and was recently offered/had my assessments with/via their new partnership with Clinical Partners, having gotten the impression that the best way to advocate for my various needs would be with a formal, and NHS diagnosis. I don't want to info dump, something I excel in (!), but whilst grateful to be in what I'm very aware is a privileged position w.r.t recognition of my neurospicy-ness, it's been a journey with non-trivial mental and physical pain, which I've been reflecting on with some sadness about whether any was avoidable...but hindsight is, of course, a wonderful thing.

I know from the post-diagnosis materials that people react different, but despite having pushed against various resistance to get to this point, I've not really come to terms with/embraced my long-desired outcome, when I feel like I should feel more when this is what I wanted?! Arghhh so confused...

*Anyway*, sorry for rambling/if I didn't introduce myself "properly"! Hope you're all doing ok and it's really nice to be here Smiley

Parents

  • Hello.

    Like any goal that you work towards, it consumes your time and gives you a purpose, then when you actually get there suddenly it is gone. It can seem a bit hollow. Is this all?. Then what?

    This is the challenge. What new goals do you want to set yourself? Nobody sets them for you. Identifying how this new knowledge and confirmation can be used or help you may take time.

    People were talking to you and now they are gone. I think this is why it feels odd.

Reply

  • Hello.

    Like any goal that you work towards, it consumes your time and gives you a purpose, then when you actually get there suddenly it is gone. It can seem a bit hollow. Is this all?. Then what?

    This is the challenge. What new goals do you want to set yourself? Nobody sets them for you. Identifying how this new knowledge and confirmation can be used or help you may take time.

    People were talking to you and now they are gone. I think this is why it feels odd.

Children
  • in reply to Stuart333

    Hi Stuart333, that's a very helpful take, thank you; exactly that, I was in a (understandably lengthy) process, and now in a blink of an eye it's all gone, I'm out of the system with a label, report, and an experience, but nothing else in my world has changed, yet so much internally for me feels like it's been turned upside down...focusing on this new challenge and setting new goals is comfortingly actionable and pragmatic.