• Replies 9 replies
  • Subscribers 74 subscribers
  • Views 1007 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Hello everyone

Sudhir

Hey everyone my name is Sudhir, I’m 40 and for the longest time I have always struggled with fitting in and connecting with people, I have always felt different but never understood why, until recently I have come to realise that I have asd-1 traits. I’ve dealt with depression in the past because I often felt very alone.

Its amazing that this group exists and just want to say thank you, and I really hope I get know all you in time .

  • Hi and welcome to the community! Slight smile

    If you're thinking about pursuing a diagnosis, the resources here offer some great advice. One of them for example, explains how to request a referral for assessment, whether from the NHS itself or - if you live in England - via the Right to Choose pathway (which can be quicker, whilst still being fully funded and recognised by the NHS):

    NAS - Before diagnosis

    In respect of making some initial changes that you might find helpful, I suggest this book. It's the first one that I bought after my own realisation, and it helped me to make some changes of my own, starting with my sleep routine:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

  • Hi and welcome Sudhir, good to have you here. I think there are a number of folks here that come with that late understanding. Good to have the answer but cannot help but wish it came sooner ! 

  • in reply to Stuart333
    •    that’s really an interesting observation, and yes It could be the reason we go into depression or depressive states ,as well I often shutdown and just stay away from the outside world and choose to stay in the most quiet room I can find, but with a regular routine which doesn’t alter I often find myself in better place mentally, I often get very worked up if the routine breaks , and it messes my whole day up , and I have the same issues with the fantasies I often go into my own head and create a parallel world where I imagine things going my way etc, it’s really is hard to come out from it, maybe I built it as a coping mechanism, I think I have an autobiographical type of memory as I can relive past traumas like it’s in movie and those really can affect me for day, I relive the good ones as well , but it highly depends on the mood I’m in that I’m learning to keep in check because it effects me deeply.  Thank you for your well wishes 
  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    Thank you and yes I hope we can all share and grow from here 

  • Hello.

    What I find curious is why it takes so long to realise. Once you stumble upon the possible answer, although it takes a little time to accept it, everything falls into place and a lot of the confusion falls away. It then seems obvious and you wonder why you missed it.

    The question then is whether the depression is really just depression or is due to overload or burnout. This then prompts questions about stress and how to arrange your life in a better way.

    Then you wonder what you actually really want. The answer is unique to each person. How you come to terms with what you'd like, what you can sustainably achieve, what you've missed, what could've been, is a challenge.

    Beware cognitive distortions and, at least in my case, beating yourself up over idealised fantasies that are probably not realistic or even as good as you imagine.

    Fear of uncertainty and change make it hard to move forward especially when you are not sure what you want.

    Good luck on your journey.

  • Hi, welcome to the community! Yes, it’s often helpful to finally understand, why we often suffer and why we are so different. I wish you find here support and connect to others.