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Hi

72129

Hi, I'm a mum to 2 teens, my 18 year old has just been diagnosed, my 15 year old is we're sure, also autistic but has no diagnosis, I'll ask advice about that another time.

I'm looking for support for my 18 year old. She couldn't manage college 2 years ago and has lost her few 'friends' she had, she doesn't leave the house much, and although she's happy, she wants company. 

I'm a driving instructor and I've taught several boys/men who don't socialise in person but have a great friendship group online. How can I find something like that for my daughter? I know it will take time, but where do you start?

I'm also really interested in finding a mentor for her, which I've just recently heard is a thing, any suggestions for that?

  • Regarding a mentor, the Neurodiverse Self Advocacy charity offers them for free, with a waiting time of only about a month.

    Regarding finding online communities, I recommend she think about what her biggest interests are and starts from there. Nearly every fandom or hobby community has at least one forum out there. Tumblr is a great place for finding friends with similar interests, but so are bespoke forums. Also, disboard is a great website for finding discord servers (basically like forums, except they are private and can only be accessed by members, but still for free) based on your interests. If she likes acting for example, or writing, roleplay servers might be her thing. There are big ones for fandoms like Harry Potter or the Hunger Games, but also for lesser known fandoms. If she likes chess or e-sports, there are servers for that too. I hope that helps.

  • Hello JaneBrown,

    It's good to hear that your daughter is happy. You can search for support groups, social programmes, extra-curricular and leisure activities for your daughter on our Autism Services Directory. Just type your postcode and you'll be able to find services near you.

    All the best,

    Karin Mod

  • Good morning, Jane Brown! Welcome!

    So one thing is that this forum allows people over the age of 18 to join the discussions, so your daughter could join in here. However, do be mindful that it seems the majority of us on here are older adults who were diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) later in life.

    I socialize with two groups, both via text and Discord since we live all across the US. I have barely any friends that live close to me (if any). In my case I already met most of these online friends in person during college, BUT, I’m pretty sure there are lots of public Discord servers and Facebook groups out there that she could use to meet people.

    One quick note though, you might want to change your username if that’s your real name. We try not to self-identify on here as best as we can.

    I wish you the best!