The other night I actually ended up going to the cinema with someone I met online who coincidentally also works at the cinema but I didn’t know this at the time as mentioned in a previous post.
This week we’ve actually seen one another around four times. And although he isn’t very physically attractive, I did start to like him as a person. However, I noticed he was being quite placating because he thought I was attractive. And he kept saying that I was “hot” and we spoke intimately, but nothing physical happened. Even though I took part in this, it made me angry and I felt used because he is so unattractive and never really had a relationship at 44 years old; also lives with his dad. He’s very inexperienced with women. I know I sound shallow, but I’m just being honest. Looks aren’t everything to me, but I felt manipulated and that’s what made me angry; as though I was being used as a temporary solution for him. He, like myself admitted that he was tired of doing things alone and wanted companionship, but then things started to become blurry.
I even mentioned that I wanted to see Nine Inch Nails in concert and he went ahead and bought tickets. I don’t have anyone else to go with so I’m happy to go with him and he says he still wants me to go with or without him and will give me the tickets. He’s now changed his tune because I’m obviously too much for him; I’m very feisty and say it as it is etc. He isn’t exactly introverted, but he’s definitely emotionally unavailable due to his own insecurities. He told me that he doesn’t think that he can handle me because of how confrontational I am. Personally, I think that’s a him thing and he jumped in feet first as a result of lust, but hasn’t the stamina or goods to back it up. He’s a pathetic, spineless reptile like so many others. They’re full on and shallow as hell when it comes to the physical crap, but forbid me from showing any personality or transparency.
He kept saying whatever happens happens and was happy to just be friends who go places together, but now is pretty much ready to throw in the towel. I didn’t exactly lie to him about my struggles either, I was extremely candid and he made out he understood. I also seem to overwhelm and intimidate him with my vocabulary apparently; he didn’t seem to understand what I was talking about more than half the time, and he told me this.
P.S I offered to pay for my own ticket before anyone starts.