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Hello

TiredMum

I would just like to introduce myself.

I am a Mum of an ASD child aged 14. Took me 7 years to get diagnosis. I believe 100% that she also has ADHD or ADD. CAMHS are trying to blame her behaviour all on her ASD diagnosis. I don't believe this neither does my oldest daughter who used to work in SEN and is now a Paediatric Nurse.

I am subject to verbal abuse, mental abuse and physical abuse from my child. Only just recently dad has been affected by physical abuse aswell. Police have been called out so many times as that is what Social Services have told us to do.

I have been told that our parenting skills need to change and that my Mental Heath is fine I am just tired and exhausted. That was from my Social Worker. My Dr says different.

My child suffers with Anxiety, seperation Anxiety from myself, and Anger issues. Attends a school for behaviour issues and learning difficulties.

I have been told to reach out and ask for advice, which everybody seems to be giving me, and it is always different.

Thanks for reading.

  • in reply to profdanger

    Thank you for your reply. My daughter is good at sports, but gets bored very easily. We have tried to get her to go to clubs but she refuses and weve been advised not to push. At the moment I am taking one day at a time. I will look up the book you suggested.

  • I don't know if this would be helpful, I stumbled on it by accident a couple of months back. It may not be relevant.

    Defense Mode: Why They Seem So Stuck & Shutdown All The Time - Asperger Experts

  • Good morning TiredMum,

    I have a daughter (age 7) diagnosed with anxiety, ADHD, and ASD. Her form of ASD is PDA (pathological demand avoidance) autism, which means she struggles with expectations and demands. We haven’t had issues with physical abuse from her, but she has explosive tantrums when she feels stressed or overwhelmed (which happens a lot).

    The best advice I can give is read up. If you Google “books on autistic girls” there’s a number of resources that come up. I’ve read “Raising an Autistic Girl” by Taylor Eberstadt (who happens to be Autistic herself). I think many of these books look at the what the girl with Autism is going through from her perspective, which might be helpful for you, especially since it is probably difficult for your daughter to vocalize what is going on in her mind.

    Is your daughter doing well in any sort of area? My daughter LOVES art, so we smother her with art supplies. It gives her an opportunity to express herself without the stress of expectations from others. We’ve also put her into art therapy, which really, really helped her. Sometimes focusing in on the positives can help.

    I wish you the best!