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Hi, anyone in a similar situation with an 8 year old?

NAS96465

Hello everyone, I wonder if there are others in a similar situation to us who could offer advice please? Our daughter was diagnosed when she was 4. We didn't tell her about the diagnosis at the time as she was too little. She is now 8 and thriving so we are wondering if there were any tips on how to tell a child of this age. She doesn't require any extra support socially or academically but the Dr did say that it may be when she gets to high school age that social situations might become more difficult. It would be great to hear from others who might be in a similar situation please. Thank you so much. 

  • My niece was diagnosed at a similar age and essentially grew up in the knowledge that she was Autistic.  Nobody had sat her down and explained formally, but it was thought it was better to be open about it from the start, rather than bring a whole new subject to the table at some undefined point down the line.  

    You might argue - precisely to avoid the question of when to mention it at all.

    She went on to a special needs school, where very many other children had autism anyway - so that conversation wasn't needed.  Individual questions did arise - but they came from her and would be presented in a manner that suggested that she had fully accepted the Autism as if she were talking about her arm or leg. 

    There were more questions when she got to secondary school age because she began to notice that the Autism and special needs of others did not necessarily match that of her own.  She wondered why, at first, that if some she knew were Autistic - they were behaving differently and reacting in a different manner, but it was always her that seemed to bring the matter up, as she had accepted the Autism, if not the full implications.

    I do realise (from my own experiences) that this is totally different in mainstream. I'd still say it is better to inform as soon as possible, and to normalise.  I wish I'd had an experience which had validated how I felt in my childhood - and telling me that it's okay - that's the Autism - or just to mention it in passing would have been beneficial, rather than to let me deal with it in a far more isolated and stigmatised fashion too late (in my opinion).  

    I think if details aren't needed, don't give them.  You know - some people are Neuro-typical and some are Neuro-diverse.  Your daughter happens to be Neuro-diverse.  Most aren't but it isn't a big deal.  Play it down, rather than make it into a potential worry (not that you would).   I think many children are resilient and take things in their stride if matters are presented properly.  I am sure you know her capabilities.  

    I really could go on and on, but I think I may have said enough.  Likely others can contribute too.  

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    You might find the advice here helpful - it includes tips from a few parents:

    NAS - Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis > When and how should I talk to my child about their diagnosis?