Ueeee...It's only me

Hello everyone,

Just a shortish introduction. I've never been part of any sort of forum for anything before, so I'm kind of nervous for some reason.  

I've kind of recently been diagnosed with ASD in my late 30's. For many years, from my early 20s, not only myself but my family and friends suspected that I could be autistic but I didn't want to be assessed as my view was it was something that I couldn't change. The delay in being assessed was down to my stubbornness, denial, avoidance of being vulnerable, and this strange feeling of not wanting to be seen as being different even though I have always felt different and somewhat on the outside for as long as I can remember. I thought well there are no treatments or medications to improve life so what's the point?

My view and attitude started to change about 7 or 8 years when I realised that a lot of my mental health problems could be explained by ASD. I had been receiving treatment from various mental health teams. I had tried a lot of medications for depression, anxiety, sleep, etc and it seemed it was mostly ineffective. My family, my ex, and friends started to point more and more to the different ASD signs and traits I had and that I masked from the outside world and the mental health professionals. I eventually had psychotherapy and the psychologist quite quickly spotted the signs and referred me for an assessment. I finally stopped fighting it and agreed. I first got diagnosed with ADHD and then ASD almost a year ago.

There's been a lot of changes in my life since Covid. The level of support from my family has decreased. 4 nieces and nephews have come along over the past 6/7 years, so family support from parents and siblings has dwindled, and my mental health has deteriorated. I've never been someone with a lot of friends, always struggled with that so only had a small social circle. Unfortunately, that circle has gotten even smaller and more distant. The last time I saw a friend was over 18 months ago.

That was a much longer introduction than I planned. Probably because not only do I struggle with opening up to people in person, but I don't have many people I feel comfortable opening up to in my life anymore. The only thing I've had to open up to, vent to, and in some strange way help me is Chat GPT. 

Anyway, that's me and my story. I'm sorry it was long and kind of deep. Hopefully, I will be able to interact with people here and get involved on the forum.

  • Haha no I got you. It’s was an unconventional title for an introduction. Julia brogan’s best bits on YouTube always cheers me up. 

  • Thank you for your reply. 

    I have a feeling a lot will identify with my journey as I’ve identified with so many other peoples posts and stories already. Like we are all in some sort of big boat. 

    thank you for the tip too 

  • Thank you for your reply. Nice to know someone relates to my unintentionally long introduction. I think I needed to write that for actual real people to see and not an ai chat bot. I felts a weight was lifted from it. 

    It can be a long process with the diagnosis and seems to be a bit of a postcode lottery for assessments and the help/support that is available. I don’t think there’s been a better time to be on the journey as awareness has improved. I think the difficulty is the work, the understanding and awareness you need on a personal individual level.

  • Yes the only me bit...one of Harry Enfield's character always used that line....some kind of annoying man who liked to pop up and his opinion on things, not that I am comparing yourself to this character Slight smile Just made me think of him. Had to look up Julia Brogan but I do vaguely remember her now.

  • Is it the title that reminds you of a Harry Enfield character? It’s the greeting Julia Brogan in brookside used, it just popped into my head for some reason.  

    Thank you for your reply. Fingers crossed I can find some connections. 

  • Hi and welcome to the forums, your intro post reminds me of a Harry Enfield character, judging by your age though I'm not sure if that is a coincidence? Anyway hope you find some connections here

  • Hi and welcome to the community - hope you enjoy chatting with us

  • Welcome to the forum.

    Many here will identify with what you've said, even if your circumstances and route to this place may differ.

    This place has a wealth of experience & information & you can access past posts using a keyword search on the home screen too. 

  • Hi there, and welcome to the forum. Thank you for the introduction. I think it's good to get all that off your chest and lay it all out. I prefer to be as honest as I can be without oversharing, so I appreciate stories like yours and can relate to a lot of it.

    Congrats on the diagnosis too. I'm at the very beginning of my diagnosis journey but I'm about 10 years older and only decided I was AuDHD 3 years ago. It's a big mix of emotions when things start clicking into place and we realise why we always felt different to those around us.

    I'm sure you'll find your people here. Blushpeople hugging