Hello,
My 11 year old daughter was put on the ADHD and Autism Pathway, at the recommendation of her school teacher, 6 months ago. This made sense to me, and answered a lot of questions (sensory struggles, emotional and social struggles). CAMHS have done the initial assessments, spoken to my daughter and have read the teachers reports. They said there is significant evidence to continue with the assessment. My daughter is very much against the idea. She says she 'knows her own brain' and she does not want, and doesn't have autism and never asked for this attention.
I want to give her as much help and support as possible. A bit of background - she has had a terrible year at school, about 4 months ago she was assaulted violently on the school playground by a boy (she had her hair ripped out, and punched repeatedly, and shoes thrown across the playground) As parents, we tried everything to help her - we went above school authority to get the boy expelled (didn't work), we went to the police (didn't get far as there was no cctv), we reduced her school hours to half because of her mental health, and I didn't feel that she was safe in school. Even so, the bullying continued from other children... physical and verbal, including knife threats. My daughter was self harming before this incident, and increased after, she even talked of suicide in school. At this point we said enough was enough and we removed her from a school setting for home education. Eventually, a school said they had a place for her, and it's been wonderful to see our daughter thrive again.
So as you can understand, my daughter is desperate for her fresh start and put all of that behind her. As she said, she wants 'no fuss'. Today I gave her a book for autistic girls, at the recommendation of her teacher, and it looked great - really relaxed, and written by a teenage girl. It didn't go down well. I have explained how amazing she is and told her to give the book a go, it may help. She got quite cross with me, and she said she didn't need it, and she doesn't think she has autism. I don't want her to feel like I'm pushing something on her. However with her high school transition coming up, the pastoral team want to speak with her about how they can help... seems like that would only upset my daughter more. I have told my daughter that CAMHS said they want to continue on the pathway, but I understood how she felt and I didn't press the matter.
I get it, it's not like she's going to have a blood test for Autism and get a result! My hope is for her to understand herself, and get passed the negative ideas she has about herself. Am I pushing this on her?! Our close family member is a teacher and said there is definitely a neurodivergence there. Family have made less helpful comments about 'everyone being labelled nowadays'. Personally, we feel like it would be remiss of us as parents, not to go as far as CAMHS wished to. I read about a lot of teens feeling relieved when they get a diagnosis.... but it's just not my daughters experience... so far. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.
