Ok I uh don't really know where to begin because I honestly feel like my life could be a bestselling novel 
oh yes I also hide my pain in humour I've learned.
So I'm 28, well 29 in a few days and I was diagnosed with level 1 autism in August of 2024 and then combined ADHD about a month later. I'm one of five children, specifically the middle child. My mum's first pregnancy was twins, who were born 3 months premature and both had different things wrong with them but one main thing. They had cerebral palsy. The older twin, let's call her L was born with a right side brain bleed and the young twin, R was born with a burst left lung which they had to repair. They were both assigned 20 nurses each to oversee their care. My mum did a lot of muscle work with them when they were babies, as they wouldn't actually move around my mum would move their legs and arms for them. They also both have asthma and R had a wheat allergy, but have grown up to both be able to maintain stable jobs which is amazing.
Basically the back story is they were both high maintenance babies, like more than usual. So anyways I was born, I was in my mum's words "miles ahead of the twins" which is apparently how it went undetected for almost 30 years. Well I was only 2 at the time my little sister was born, and then a few years later my brother.
So growing up the house was incredibly loud and busy. My dad was always at work and my mum was um I dunno, I used to think she was a narcissist or that she was doing the best she could but I think my parents weren't right for each other and unfortunately, some children were hurt in the process. They divorced just before I went to secondary so I was 11 and my brother was 2. About a month after my dad moved out some other guy moved in, my mum's new boyfriend. Who would then become her husband. And then ex husband
This is all important because my dad growing up was my safe person and it felt like he got ripped from me and the worst thing is every weekend we would come back from his house and she would go on and on about how horrible he is, she told me such disgusting lies about him that later on down the road made him cry.
So my mum is with this new guy and it's like whatever but all while this is going on I'm literally being bullied in school for taking things literally and being laughed at. So I'm thinking I'm so weird I have no friends, almost jumped out a window but it didn't worry anybody. I honestly have no idea how I survived childhood.
Mum finally ends it with new husband and kicks him out, I can't stand to be around him because by this time he has already SA'd me on multiple occasions so I moved in with my fiance. I do eventually tell mum what happens and she goes on to say it's my fault I didn't tell her when there was one specific incident I know I told her about as it was happening and she did nothing.
Don't know how I made it to my 20s, honestly thought I would have kicked the bucket by now. I'm getting into work, you know supermarkets, then restaurant manager, then my ADHD kicked in and I decided to work with kids. I mean I like children much more than adults. But then I realised animals are better than children. But specifically rabbits, hence the name. I have two epileptic rabbits, I didn't choose them for the epilepsy, I bought them when they were 8 weeks old and it seems to have developed quite quickly.
During my working years I started to question if I had autism because I would often aka all the time put my foot in my mouth, and I like NEVER had any friends growing up. In fact, during school, my mum knew this so when I started secondary she went in and immediately told all the mums I have trouble making friends and can I be friends with their child. That child then became my friend, only to then publicly humiliate me in school.
But everyone around me, including my boyfriend (oh yes dumped the finance, new boyfriend) said oh everyone's on the spectrum so I dropped it. That was until I met my current and forever best friend. I moved to a new town for my boyfriends work, and being now physically disabled I was just staying at home but I'd registered my details on the childcare app, cos you know I had a level 4 in childcare and I love kids. Well in comes my best friend with her 4 children with autism and ADHD and I say no probs I come from 1 of 5 kids, well turns out she's ADHD and we meet for the first time, and her autistic 1 year old who doesn't like anybody immediately clings on to me and doesn't let go. We talk for a long time and I immediately told her she was my best friend, she thought it was a bit forward but we all know how that turned out. She says to me a few weeks after working with her and the children, I think you're autistic and maybe ADHD but you are defo autistic. And I said that's interesting because I've always thought that. I've also thought maybe I was bipolar cos my mood swings are crazy.
I read into both conditions a bit more and oh my god it was like reading my life, also no one talks about how freaking hard it is to live with both. Like I crave structure but time blindness and object permenance get me every day!
Unfortunately for me I can't go on meds yet because I'm currently having a separate physical health problem. It's probably a knock-off effect from COVID, in fact I can pinpoint the 3 times I got COVID and then soon after became unwell.
I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, IBS and I'm almost getting my PoTS diagnosis. Oh right I forgot, I also have another condition that apparently no one in my family knew about. Hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome. Like my younger sister is very flexible and my mum was too and I didn't realise I had it until my best friend, yes that's right she has it too (we're like twins) asked me if I could touch my thumb to my arm and I realised I could and suddenly all the joint pain throughout my childhood made sense. I was told I had carpal tunnel, or tendonitis.
And thanks to pots, which causes everything to go out of whack, my stomach has declared war on me since last July and I haven't stopped vomiting. It's only like once a day, so it's not like I cant keep food down, I can, but it all comes back up in the morning. Ever heard of gastroparesis? Apparently it's a comoboridity to having pots and heads. I've got my gastric scan happening in April, after waiting almost a year.
Ugh why am I venting, this probably won't get posted anyway