help from school pre assessment

Hi

My 15 year old daughter is awaiting an ASD assessment and the school will not offer any help until a diagnosis is made.  I have insisted on a meeting but am unsure of how to approach this or what to ask for (I am autistic and have difficulty in meetings, conversing, absorbing info etc).

As the school feels she is academically 'ok' and not displaying traits at school they are not in agreement with my requesting an assessment. They are very dismissive even though I have  been telling them for 2 years there are issues and my daughter may be 'ok' but she could be even better if they only listened.

Does she have to have a diagnosis before help is given?  I have been trying to speak to someone at various helplines but never any answers.

These are her main issues at present.

Lack of focus and distracted very easily.

In exam hall she is very distracted by noise and invigilators walking around, can hear clock ticking, other students shuffling etc. She has to restart any questions once distracted which means she is not completing all her questions on time.  Her school do not offer quiet rooms.

She takes everything literally and so has difficulty answering some questions.

She has trouble breaking tasks down.

She needs instructions broken down into manageble parts.

She has OCD which is worsening daily.

She cries all the time at night.

Because at school she is very quiet and hard working the teachers say nothing is wrong.  The senco lead says he has 20 years of experience but is failing my daughter as he is not registering my input regarding masking etc. I have told him that teens are known to 'cope' at school and then emotionally collapse at home but nothing.

All I want is for my daughter to get the help she deserves and to do the very best she can.  

Any advice please would be greatly appreciated.

S

Parents
  • I sympathise with you on this. We experienced the same with my son (then age 9 in yr 4. We too were told that he does not show much in terms of difficulties and academically he is at an expected level. 
    This was not what us parents were experiencing at home as he would have a complete meltdown when back home from masking and trying to fit in. 
    I spoke to a few charities and had some good advice from Autistic Minds and Autism East Midlands (AEM) in particular. I was told that the school has a duty of care regardless of a diagnosis. I found it very helpful to keep a daily diary which gave me much ammunition for when I went into school for a meeting. My son has weekly therapy sessions and I also handed them a report from the therapist outlining where he struggles and some suggested reasonable adjustments the school could make whilst waiting for the assessment. I was told to be like a squeaky wheel with my approach to school. It is a battle but we finally got him some assistance. I’m afraid you have to let it be known that you are not going to quietly go away at this stage and eventually they will start to listen.

    I would say if you struggle with being in a meeting to plan what you want to say and write it down and remember this is for your child so that hopefully in the future they are able to advocate for themselves without fear of being judged.

    It is a tough battle I’m afraid but with persistence you can prevail.

    My son got his diagnosis in December 24 and the school has started to put a real plan into place I’m pleased to say.

    I do wish you the very best and if I can help in any way let me know and I will be able to offer our experience or maybe even give some advice. 

  • Many thanks for your reply. It really is tough.  May i ask a question?  The school does not see it, I on the other hand do.  In my eyes she is 100% autistic. I am not seeking financial gain just seeking what my daughter is entitled to so why is it such a fight? They keep referring me to their policies but if I am honest it is confusing. They are saying to get sen at school she needs to be diagnosed but I didn't think that was the case, any ideas please? Looking at sen it says a child must have great learning impairments so in my opinion she does but school will say no as she is achieving adequately so no concern. Also to claim you have a disability such as autism do you need a diagnosis?

    Thank you for your help and i am so glad your son  is now getting the help he needs. I wish I had started sooner.

    Many many thanks

    Sarah

Reply
  • Many thanks for your reply. It really is tough.  May i ask a question?  The school does not see it, I on the other hand do.  In my eyes she is 100% autistic. I am not seeking financial gain just seeking what my daughter is entitled to so why is it such a fight? They keep referring me to their policies but if I am honest it is confusing. They are saying to get sen at school she needs to be diagnosed but I didn't think that was the case, any ideas please? Looking at sen it says a child must have great learning impairments so in my opinion she does but school will say no as she is achieving adequately so no concern. Also to claim you have a disability such as autism do you need a diagnosis?

    Thank you for your help and i am so glad your son  is now getting the help he needs. I wish I had started sooner.

    Many many thanks

    Sarah

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