Introducing myself

Welcome Starscream. I'm also male and early 40's, just self-diagnosed though. I've found it nice to talk here too. If you feel comfortable to do so, why don't you tell us a bit about yourself? All in your own time though.

Thanks pdaddio. 

In terms of more about myself, I’ve tried to add more over the last day or so but then overthink and second guess myself about what is not enough or too much information, what type of information etc. So I’ll share some of my interests if that’s ok. 

My main interests are music (listening and playing, particularly hard rock and metal which I also use for work). I like reading (historical and fantasy in particular). I especially like fountain pens and Transformers. 

I would very much like to get to a point of trying tabletop gaming (rpg and/or miniatures) with other people (I’ve found game shops to be quite inclusive places when I’ve been in and braised without interacting with anyone) so I’m currently researching games like Warhammer or games involved historical miniatures so I can at least try things out on my while working up to interacting in person. 

More broadly, I’m thinking through if or what I tell people in my family and at work about my diagnosis. Trying to work out what it is in certain settings that I find difficult and where sharing the fact I’m autistic may help me and others. 

Thanks pdaddio. 

In terms of more about myself, I’ve tried to add more over the last day or so but then overthink and second guess myself about what is not enough or too much information, what type of information etc. So I’ll share some of my interests if that’s ok. 

My main interests are music (listening and playing, particularly hard rock and metal which I also use for work). I like reading (historical and fantasy in particular). I especially like fountain pens and Transformers. 

I would very much like to get to a point of trying tabletop gaming (rpg and/or miniatures) with other people (I’ve found game shops to be quite inclusive places when I’ve been in and braised without interacting with anyone) so I’m currently researching games like Warhammer or games involved historical miniatures so I can at least try things out on my while working up to interacting in person. 

More broadly, I’m thinking through if or what I tell people in my family and at work about my diagnosis. Trying to work out what it is in certain settings that I find difficult and where sharing the fact I’m autistic may help me and others. 

That’s really cool that you have some good friends you clearly accept you as you (as I’m sure you accept them). 

I totally get what you mean about verbal rules. I need to read it, what it, read it again, have a go with someone guiding me through. Another reason why I’m nervous about playing in person. 

I’ve never really been any good at computer games (I like having a go but get stuck easily!) but I’m of an age where I was put off by having a Spectrum (what an ironic name now) 128 and tapes that always crashed. My friends were much trendier and had Commodore 64 machines and better games. 

Hi Starscream84 I've never really tried tabletop games - though it feels like I might like them since I like video games - just never had the opportunity. I am lucky in having a group of friends where we play board games together though. I enjoy playing board games, but I've discovered that my brain is incapable of being verbally told the rules, nothing registers for me, so I have to watch others play the game and then I pick up the patterns as I go and realise it's never as complicated as I thought. It also means I invariably lose! Luckily I'm not competitive.

Apart from my wife who figured out with me what my "label" was, I privately told two close friends (separately) via WhatsApp that I suspected I was autistic - I'm not diagnosed, so I always choose my words carefully. It was a bit nerve wracking, but both of them accepted me and were happy to know, so I'm glad I've got two good friends at least!

That doesn’t sound cowardly Galaxy42. I sent an email to few key work people and told them I don’t mind people knowing so that it just become knowledge without too much direct conversation. So far I’ve only had ‘I’d never have thought you weee autistic. But now that I know that you are it makes sense”.  Not sure what to do with that other than think post-diagnosis and sharing of it it, we all have some information we didn’t have before and maybe that helps us navigate things better going forwards. 

I'm in a very similar situation. I'm 50 & received my diagnosis on Xmas Eve, first time in years that Santa has delivered something I actually wanted.

I couldn't bring myself to tell people face to face, I sent my brother a copy of the diagnosis on WhatsApp and then made an announcement on Facebook.

I know that sounds kind of cowardly, but I just wouldn't have coped well with the "You don't seem autistic" comments, which there were plenty of. Generally it went pretty well & with the office gossip being on my Facebook, everyone should have been told & gotten  over it before I go back to the office tomorrow & hide in my corner

Thank you Bunny.  Much appreciated. 

Starscream84 said:

More broadly, I’m thinking through if or what I tell people in my family and at work about my diagnosis. Trying to work out what it is in certain settings that I find difficult and where sharing the fact I’m autistic may help me and others. 

I mentioned this article in the reply I just posted, but will just drop a direct link to it here, in case it's helpful:

NAS - Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis