I tried many things when I was younger. All I knew as a teenager was that I had crippling social anxiety. Alcohol didn't work for me, cannabis made me feel even more like an alien and paranoid to boot. Then I discovered ecstacy. As an introvert with muted emotions, it was a surprise that I had social confidence and didn't have to think about things. I felt joy for the first time. I am never 'present'. I always want to be on to the next thing. Ecstacy made me feel in the middle of everything, and not an observer on the periphery. But, unfortunately, you turn back into a pumpkin the next day...
I tried many things when I was younger. All I knew as a teenager was that I had crippling social anxiety. Alcohol didn't work for me, cannabis made me feel even more like an alien and paranoid to boot. Then I discovered ecstacy. As an introvert with muted emotions, it was a surprise that I had social confidence and didn't have to think about things. I felt joy for the first time. I am never 'present'. I always want to be on to the next thing. Ecstacy made me feel in the middle of everything, and not an observer on the periphery. But, unfortunately, you turn back into a pumpkin the next day...
