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Do I need a social worker for my son, he desperately needs help?

Sashameerkat

Hi, I am desperate to help my adult son. He has never been diagnosed with any form of autism, but i/we, his family, have always known that there was something different about him because of his behavior, which I have seen similar descriptions by other family members of other sufferers (for want of a better word). He didn't do well at school, he is now 31, he has never worked, despite lengthy discussions by all members of the family to encourage him. He is and has always only been interested in music and playing guitar from the age of 12. He has always practiced on it, sometimes continuously from morning till night, sometimes playing the same chords over and over and over again and still does. He has managed to convince the doctors in the past that he has had a mental problem, depression, sleep problems (terrifying dreams) and has managed to get benefits, but no one has actually tested him for Asperger's syndrome or something similar, I don't know what it is, we are only guessing which form of autism he has. He definitely falls into some category, his speech and conversation is not normal, he launches into disgusting conversation about all manner of sexual depravity and toilet functions, replacing normal words with ridiculous ones. Etc. etc. I could go on and on. He can't manage his money, his sister does all that for him, but I have had to bail him out financially to pay his electric and various bills. He lives on his own and is happy to, but no interest in having a nice place or pet or anything. But he has been forced to volunteer in the community to keep his benefits, this has broken down, he cannot function in normal life, I.e. Mixing with people he doesn't know. He is not lazy, he can get up in the morning, but spends most of his time on his guitar or watching horror films, another obsession. Please help, please, he will be out on the streets soon, does he need a social worker, can he be classed as a vulnerable adult. Please please please help!!!

  • Blossom said:

    Dear Sashameerkat,

    I rely on a good cry several times a week! I prefer to think of us an autistic family rather than having a child with autism because the effect of autism has far reaching consequences for the whole family. We eat the way we do because of it... we sleep (or not)  the way we do because of it..we socialize (or don't socialize) the way we do because of it...our whole lives are planned and time tabled around the autism. Its the only way we manage to survive it. But I would say that once you come to an acceptance of it and a deeper understanding..you do find a kind of sheer joy and happiness that parents of neuro typical children dont. So there are numerous things about these very unique people to celebrate.

     

    i think this is a wonderful post....... it completely describes my son our family but without a diagnosis....

  • Dear Sashameerkat,

    I rely on a good cry several times a week! I prefer to think of us an autistic family rather than having a child with autism because the effect of autism has far reaching consequences for the whole family. We eat the way we do because of it... we sleep (or not)  the way we do because of it..we socialize (or don't socialize) the way we do because of it...our whole lives are planned and time tabled around the autism. Its the only way we manage to survive it. But I would say that once you come to an acceptance of it and a deeper understanding..you do find a kind of sheer joy and happiness that parents of neuro typical children dont. So there are numerous things about these very unique people to celebrate.

  • Dear Sashameerkat,

    I rely on a good cry several times a week! I prefer to think of us an autistic family rather than having a child with autism because the effect of autism has far reaching consequences for the whole family. We eat the way we do because of it... we sleep (or not)  the way we do because of it..we socialize (or don't socialize) the way we do because of it...our whole lives are planned and time tabled around the autism. Its the only way we manage to survive it. But I would say that once you come to an acceptance of it and a deeper understanding..you do find a kind of sheer joy and happiness that parents of neuro typical children dont. So there are numerous things about these very unique people to celebrate.

  • Thank you so much for your reply, at last someone understands and agrees with me, I don't mind telling you, I cried when I received these comments. I have told my son what he needs to do, the hardest part is getting him to understand that he has this kind of problem. Once he has made an appointment and got a referal, I will help him out financially again, but as I explained to him, I won't always be able to, as I want to retire soon and obviously the finality of life will come. So I need him to do this for himself.

    Once again, thank you so much for your support and in hope all goes well for you too

  • It could certainly be Aspergers or high funtioning autism .Our grandson who is 13 and to whom we are legal guardians, exhibits similiar traits . He can be very innapropriate and is certainly always obsessional. His rigid behaviour patterns and thought processes frequently cause people to see him as stubborn and rude. This is the only way he can cope with a world that he sees as confusing and frightening though. I would urge you to get an assessment for him. 

    Nothing comes easily these days but I wish you all the best with your efforts to get help for your son.

  • He sounds like a vulnerable adult to me, and in need of support. And some of what you mention could be explained by possible Asperger's, but you would need to pursue a diagnostic assessment. You would need to get him to speak to his GP to request a referral for assessment from your nearest adult autism diagnostic service. Under the autism strategy a GP cannot turn you down for assessment, and if there is nowhere local, they have to refer elsewhere. You have to really fight your corner these days, but don't give up.

    Also, you can request a community care assessment in order to determine if your son is eligible for Social care.