Haircuts as an autistic person

I totally resonate with this. I haven't been to a barbers for 25 years probably exactly because of this. The wait, the performance of chatting, the sitting still, the doubting yourself when they've cut off too much and you should've spoken up. The lightings always too much for me too.

I ended up getting a hairdresser that comes to your house in the end. Got the kids done too at the same time. Unfortunately she retired so I've just shaved my own head for the last 10 years!

Well done for going in the end.

I cut my own and have for years. Sometimes the result are…interesting, some times they are not bad. Haven’t been to a barber for at least ten years. Don’t like waiting, don’t like the small talk. 

I am female and always hated it too. You are not alone. I cut it myself or a friend does it. No complains yet.

Wet cuts are more precise, it depends on your hair type and the style you have. You can ask for a wet cut, where they will just spray you from a plant spray type of bottle, many do do dry cuts, so I ask.

Basins are awkward, I was told whist I was training that I was a health and safety hazzerd when I was having my hair shampooed because my legs stuck out so far. Basins are adjustable and the hairdresser should make sure you're comforatble.

Glad to hear that.

As a female, I have the problem that most women's salons want to wash and blow dry your hair, when I just want a dry cut - I hate other people washing my hair as if it's done backwards it hurts my neck & shoulders, and if forwards the water goes in my eyes. I also don't like paying money for someone to do what I can do myself for free. Luckily I found a unisex salon some years back where they do dry cuts so I always go to that one, even though I've moved during that time and now have to get a bus there.

Nice one! And at least that's it for 2024... I imagine. :-)

I've embraced the bald! I believe they call it radical acceptance. :-)

Just want to thank everyone who‘s responded to my post. It‘s make me feel less bad about feeling anxious over the barbers. Also, I got my haircut yesterday and it went well. One of the first times i have been the barber and had a pretty positive experience. I think it helped I went on a quiet week night. I even managed some small talk !! 

That's how a hairdresser should be, they should listen to you and what you want and not pressure you.

The only thing you have to worry about position wise is sitting still and with your back straight and don't cross your legs, wonky body means wonky hair.

If you try and go earlier in the week you will probably find it quieter, thursdays are often busy as many do special deals for OAP's and they'll be hood dryers going full blast and the smell of perm lotion and hairspray. Fridays and Saturdays can be busy too.

I hate the small talk bit and I also don't like seeing my reflection looking back at me.

I quite like the feeling of the clippers buzzing against my head, it's quite pleasant as I sit there with my eyes closed.

Does anyone complain that their hair is wrong or wonky, as long as I get out quickly and my ears are still attached I'm good.

Although I tend to go straight home and wash whatever is remaining as who wants to be covered in itchy offcuts.

hi Becca ! I love breakfast too ! I totally understand you . I had to go to the hair salon for a job and it was a nightmare . I have a tip for you . Maybe you can find a hairdresser in the people you know and have somebody come do your hair at your home . That’s what I did with a friend I met this summer . First time having professional hair done in about 10 years !!

I hope when you go tomorrow it won't be too bad. I would never have said that I struggled getting my hair cut, but I definitely find it stressful, to the point that I try and go only once a year.

I do like having HAD my hair cut, and  how much more manageable shorter hair is (so much less time in the shower!). 

Luckily I normally go at the same time my mum gets hers cut (at a salon chair in the back of a barber shop), so if I don't feel like making chit chat she carries the conversation, and I can add a comment if I feel able. (that emoji is not supposed to be there. I have tried to remove it but it won't go. And when I try to edit it flags my comment as abusive or spam).

The lady who cuts my hair is really nice and knows I don't want anything fancy. She listens to what I say I want and might offer a suggestion, but doesn't pressure me to do anything.

But yes, I struggle with the lighting and the noise, and the conversations going on, possibly music too, and having to stare at myself in a mirror, and then wondering if I'm holding my head the right way.

I'm afraid I'm not going to be a lot of help, I gave up having my hair cut at least 20 years ago. It hadn't crossed my mind at that time that I might be autistic. I just buzz mine periodically, but obviously that is not for everyone. It will be interesting to hear how other people manage.

A wig maybe? You could have a different colour and style everyday, lol. Really though, there's not a lot you can do if you're mostly bald, the option of chrome dome would mean that you could do it yourself, about the only other thing you could do is invest in lots of colourful hats.

I got to a point some years back where I'd joke that in terms of bringing a picture mine would have to be Ian Hislop and the barber would say 'Just as well mate cos that's about your only option' 

But I'm even balder now to the point where Hislop's tresses look luxurious to me - what an abundance! 

Now, my options are 'the Prince William' or just go full chrome dome. I'm not cool enough for the latter!

Thanks for your kind words, A. Yes, I count my blessings on that continuity aspect at least! 

Tipping is like autistic kryptonite. It's not like we don't have the capacity to be generous, in fact many of us would agonise over being insufficiently so according to whatever intuitively discerned standard metric most NTs just effortlessly got to grips with years ago. But the whole 'dance' of it, the inevitably inelegant delivery of that moment, the overthink, the double-checking. The confusion when the more worldly-wise person you're running it by says 'always tip service A, but there's no need for Service B' - (or 'why did you tip that THAT much, that's crazy' or 'You should have given them more') -  how do they know? Why is that the case? Why and when are some tips built in to the overall total? Does one still put a little more on that again? Or is that idiocy? What is the glossary of terms covering all such 'it's baked in' scenarios? The questions go on and on. But must be dealt with in real time in a moment of inescapable quickly unfolding inevitability!

Glad to have made you feel less alone on that one. You're not being silly, you know what it takes out of you each time. Maybe it would be helpful to keep thinking of it as 'the last haircut before Christmas' so that as soon as the unpleasantness is over with this time, 2024 has only preferable things left in it for you! I hope...

I only go to barbers but looking into a hairdresser could be a good option for me as the noise of clippers and some of the gadgets used make me feel quite uncomfortable.

Thanks for the reply !! It’s a relief to know that people face similar anxiety and worries about getting a haircut. I was beating myself up over the weekend for postponing it and thought I was being over dramatic. But it’s a situation that has lots of uncomfortable sensory aspects and hard social customs to navigate so it’s understandable why myself and a lot of us struggle with this :) 

Wib said:

That‘s really cool what your eldest is doing.

I agree.

Well done to your eldest Martin