Published on 12, July, 2020
I have an 8 year old boy who is diagnosed with ASD. He struggles at school with his learning and is below average, he struggles socially and is very sensory with his hearing, smell etc. We are currently going through an EHCP assessment, which has been exhausting in itself. Whilst his behaviour at school is really good, they don’t see any of the challenging behaviour and aggression we are seeing at home. He is very demand avoidant and has no perceptive of danger. His aggression during meltdowns is specifically directed to his Dad who adores him and this is so upsetting to see. We are both exhausted. He does have consequences for this behaviour, but this just seems to enrage him more.
we are having trouble getting him to bed/sleep again at the moment. He has a good routine and is usually in bed for 8:30pm with a story and some relaxation music, but is often up and down until gone 10pn. He never slept until he was 5 years old and he isnt medicated. I do think he has some ADHD traits but school disagree. I also think he has PDA which isn’t recognised in our area.
He is verbal but when we try to talk to him to ask him about his day or what triggered his behaviour, he just shuts down and doesn’t answer. We haven explained to him that he has Autism yet as I’m not sure he would understand.
can anyone offer any advice? Thank you in advance
Hey
I I am no expert but I do understand and sympathise with your situation. My son is very similar to your child. I have learned to give him some time when he is very angry or I stay near him but don’t say too much, I found that can escalate things sometimes. I don’t want to speak for others as we are all very different but with my son he needs to let that out to move on. With shutting down when questioned about his triggers perhaps he cannot identify what has triggered him, I know I can feel sad and angry sometimes but don’t know why. My son has just had his assessment but does not actually know about AS yet. I think for us until he knows what he’s dealing with I cannot really expect him to understand it. Just saying that might be the same for you guys. The best two things I have done for my son is keep a daily diary of what has happened and what he has been doing. When you have a few months worth of information you start to see patterns. I have also been taking my son to therapy sessions for a year now which has helped, its also been useful to pass the weekly diary entries onto his therapist.
The more you can learn and understand about autism the better prepared you will be.
Good luck