Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I’m Amanda, soon to be 36 years old. I’ve recently come out as Lesbian and have been together with my partner for just 2 months, I have also only just been diagnosed with ASD 1 in July this year.
My girlfriend has just got a new job which has completely sent me off kilter as she is working until 10pm, unpredictable shifts and it’s really upset my routine, I’m finding myself unable to mange my emotions about this as I feel like I’m not seeing her as much and it’s causing me great anxiety, I also have an anxious attachment (mainly to do with my upbringing) and I try and manage this in the best way possible but I’m finding myself over reacting as I don’t know how to deal with this change in routine - it is causing disagreements and I don’t want to cause her stress as this is a job that she really wanted to do.
There has been so many changes in my life in the last 3 months I just don’t know how to deal with everything and I don’t want to mess this up. I think falling in love causes all sorts of crazy emotions even for people who are neurotypical but I think with ASD and anxiety the emotions are so heightened ! Does anyone have any advice ? I feel like she is my soul mate and I want to be with her all the time but I know I can’t! I’m finding myself getting all ate up if she doesn’t respond to my texts but then feel guilty as I know she’s busy !
thanks in advance
It does sound like you're going through a lot of complicated emotions right now. I've been there myself once before, so I get how extreme it feels to not have that special person around the way you like. If you have access to any kind of therapy, that might be a better place to let all these feelings out.
It sounds like your partner has taken a really positive step forward in her life. How is yours going? If you're finding yourself with more personal time than you like, could you find some productive or progressive way to fill that which works for you?
Hi Oran G. Utan,
Thank you so much for your response, it’s very much appreciated. I’ve just found a therapist who specialises in ASD so hopefully I will connect with them to work on some personal issues. I find romantic relationships so confusing and the intensity of the emotions very hard to navigate, especially at the falling in love stage.
I have limited interests which mainly consist of music and exercise so could really do with finding something to get my head in to at home. I do work how ever I’ve just had a week off and feel like this hasn’t done me any good in terms of thinking too much about things.
do you have any advice on managing these complicated emotions?