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Hi from mum of 13 yr old girl recently diagnosed

misskittykat

Hi

My 13 yr old daughter finally got a diagnosis of having an Autistic Spectrum Disorder in february though I have known for a few years that it was likely.  Unfortunately, it took a move from one end of the country to another to actually get a decent paediatric consultant due to my daughters exemplary behaviour at her previous schools.  

The school move was disatrous and she now no longer goes to school.  She moved from a small caring high school to one that was huge in comparison with little pastoral care.  Unfortunately, as we now live in Dorset, it is the only school without crossing the county borderline or travelling for an hour each way to the next school in Dorset.  She is currently getting some tuition with the local learning centre but because of her high anxiety and acute sensory processing disorder, she can't go there as its full of naughty children!

She's always been above the border line for a statement on her learning disability (she's been on school action plus since she was 7) so I've never considered a 'special' school (are they still called that?) but her mental health has detiariated so much recently that I feel it would be the best option for her.  Has anyone got any thoughts on this?  

Also, because of her sensory issues, I'm finding the normal teenage stuff very difficult - she won't wear a bra and sanitary protection is a huge issue.  The OT has tried to help but at the end of the day, my daughter really does refuse to wear either for more than 30 minutes!  

I think I may have done rather a long introduction but I'd be grateful to hear from other mums that have been through or are going through similar.

Parents

  • This is so typical with high-functioning girls with ASC.  It never ceases to amaze me how much ignorance is out there regarding the female presentation.

    The trouble with special school, is that there will still be a lot of children with either behavioural problems or traits that may cause loud stimming for instance (grunts, screeches and other noises).

    If you can apply for a statement again (and don't be fobbed off - speak to www.ipsea.org.uk and your local Parent Partnership organisation for advice) your daughter can get one for any behavioural or emotional difficulties that prevent her accessing her education.  From what you say she should definitely have one.  Statements are not only about learning difficulties: https://www.gov.uk/children-with-special-educational-needs/overview

    On a statement, you can also name an independent school (private) if you can show that no state school in the vicinity can meet her needs.  The above link has a section about private schools.

    Also, as your daughter has a disability you can apply for DLA (if you haven't got this already).  She clearly has issues with self-care and needs a lot of support in that way.  Your PP can help you complete the application.

    Maybe you could get her crop tops instead of bras as they will be a lot more comfortable.   There are lots of those comfort bra crop tops out there now.  Sanitary protection I presume you mean pads (I wouldn't ask her to try with internal sanitary protection)?  There are very thin pads out there, as she may object to the bulkier types.  This might suit her: http://www.always-info.co.uk/whats-new/always-infinity-sanitary-pads.aspx

Reply

  • This is so typical with high-functioning girls with ASC.  It never ceases to amaze me how much ignorance is out there regarding the female presentation.

    The trouble with special school, is that there will still be a lot of children with either behavioural problems or traits that may cause loud stimming for instance (grunts, screeches and other noises).

    If you can apply for a statement again (and don't be fobbed off - speak to www.ipsea.org.uk and your local Parent Partnership organisation for advice) your daughter can get one for any behavioural or emotional difficulties that prevent her accessing her education.  From what you say she should definitely have one.  Statements are not only about learning difficulties: https://www.gov.uk/children-with-special-educational-needs/overview

    On a statement, you can also name an independent school (private) if you can show that no state school in the vicinity can meet her needs.  The above link has a section about private schools.

    Also, as your daughter has a disability you can apply for DLA (if you haven't got this already).  She clearly has issues with self-care and needs a lot of support in that way.  Your PP can help you complete the application.

    Maybe you could get her crop tops instead of bras as they will be a lot more comfortable.   There are lots of those comfort bra crop tops out there now.  Sanitary protection I presume you mean pads (I wouldn't ask her to try with internal sanitary protection)?  There are very thin pads out there, as she may object to the bulkier types.  This might suit her: http://www.always-info.co.uk/whats-new/always-infinity-sanitary-pads.aspx

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