Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello first time posting here!Im hoping to get the opinions from people who have been diagnosed with Autism themselves, too see if my concerns/hunches are worth looking into? so I just want to go through my quirks and a brief life experience to try to get more of a "Yes you should do this" or "No its not worth doing" My husband who has ADHD, originally recommended I also got tested for it, however I can pick up on social ques and read people, which tends to be against the normal for ADHD people and looking into Autisum I share a lot more traits with that than I do ADHD, though a lot crossover into one another, I know, in addition a friend who is very certain he is autistic (but no diagnosis) thought I have it. I'm a 29 year old woman, and quite frankly, I've never known who I am as a person, nore do I have any real grasp on how that is meant to feel or is it even meant to feel like something to begin with? I've always had the sense of just being a woman with a name and that's it. I have sensory issues, specific sounds like fire alarms, ultrasound alarms like those cat alarms that try to keep them of peoples gardens, that people arnt meant to be able to hear, children screaming (happy or otherwise) and crying and shoes on a waxed floor. Those sounds genuinely anger me.I don't like people touching me, even my family, I'm only comfortable with my husband doing it, I hated having to hold someone's hand as a kid family or otherwise, I didn't like the physical contact and still don't, bar my husband, but even then I seem to have a limit as I eventually shift away.I don't really like people In general to be honest, I'm quite misanthropic (due to an abusive childhood) as a kid and now, I want to be left alone to do my own thing, I didn't want to interact or talk with kids, it literally did not interest me at all, just listening to them would exhaust me of my already depleted energy again due to my home life.
Eye contact also makes me uncomfortable.
I did terrible in school and collage, subjects that did not align with my interest I would automatically shut down, zone out and look at weird stains on the walls and little bits of dirt on them and would connect the dots to make images in my mind. As a result I was put in the low bracket, meaning I could only get a maximum grade of C in my GCESE'S, In biology I got maximum marks, learning about how plants work and nature fascinated me and I absorbed it like a sponge, I got the maximum marks I could have got on that paper, but due to being on the lower level I could only get a C.
I was always told I was gifted in art, but I did not do well with it at school, but I enjoyed doing my own projects for tests, I did not enjoy the book work, book work consisted of "here's x theme, and y materials, do something with them that relate to the theme" I hated being limited by those and didn't enjoy them, when a teacher would make a suggestion, likely to improve the final grade of the book work (as it tallied onto your project scores at the end) I didn't want to listen to it as It was boring and did not interest me.I can smell things may husband cannot, on occasion if he's been popping spots, I can smell the blood from upstairs, when he's downstairs. I cannot stand any change, whatsoever, I hate it when I work in a place and pop out, come back and my stuff has been moved around, I cannot stand life changes, moving house, jobs, even if that change is factually better. No matter what job I do, I constantly make mistakes, people get frustrated with me because I genially forget things all the time, my short term memory is abysmal and in a few jobs its gotten me in trouble with management About 5 years ago I was diagnosed with Mild ptsd and depression, which I found out, women tend to be treated for first before being diagnosed later with autism.I could put more of my issues and quirks, But I don't want this to be too much longer than it already is :,) But with this, in your opinions, should I look at getting a diagnosis?
Hi Yuzu and welcome to the community!
It certainly seems to me as though your traits / behaviours could be consistent with autism, but of course a diagnosis requires assessment by professionals based on a whole lot more information (and we're also not allowed to give medical advice here).
In order to get a better personal feel for / reassurance about the likelihood of being autistic, you can complete either or both of the AQ-10 and AQ-50 tests, which are typically used by GPs as part of the screening process for making assessment referrals (mine used AQ-10). Some may also use the RAADS-R test.
All three of these are available on the website linked below. They're provided in a format where you can complete them online, see your results, save them as PDFs and print them off to take to a GP appointment. The pages also include explanations and discussions of the scoring criteria:
Embrace Autism - autism tests
If you feel that your results merit it, I'd then suggest printing them off and taking them to your GP, along with a list of traits that you and/or others feel might suggest that you're autistic. There's some excellent advice from the NAS on requesting an assessment here:
NAS - How to request an autism assessment
It's also worth considering the potential pros and cons of seeking a diagnosis. Again, the NAS has some great information here, which includes looking at self-identification in more detail (as mentioned here by others), benefits of an assessment, and the relevance of diagnosis in respect of accessing support:
NAS - Deciding whether to seek an autism assessment
For more information and advice about all stages of the process, from pre-assessment to post-diagnosis, there's a lot of other useful stuff in the diagnosis hub, too.
I wish you all the best, whichever option you settle on! :)
It always surprises me how high my score is when I do the AQ50 (and other tests). I just tried it now and got 43 out of a maximum 50. I suppose it's no wonder I have been referred for assessment. At my age I'm inclined to wonder if it's worth it, but perhaps it will make a difference in certain contexts. I do think sometimes it would help me if I could say to people (e.g. health professionals, with whom I am dealing more and more these days) that "I AM autistic", rather than the less certain "I am probably autistic".
It depends what you think a formal diagnosis will give you.
There is a growing idea that self-realisation is enough. You will be welcome here with that, and there are plenty of regular posters who have that. Pixiefox's tests are a good start and may well be enough.
A formal diagnosis may give you access to other services (bit of a postcode lottery), or validation from friends and family (not guaranteed!)
So, welcome, and I hope that you continue to hang out here. It may be worth changing your username and profile picture to something else, as those NAS numbers all look the same - this post won't disappear.
Have you done the AQ50 test? It's used in diagnosis in the UK and is available online, it will give you a good indication.
I'm not formally diagnosed - GP said I probably was after seeing my test results, but that I wouldn't get any support after a formal diagnosis as I was capable of looking after myself. So I saw no point - I'm just the same person I always was, but realising i was on the spectrum led to me reading about autism, using this forum, and understanding myself better.
It's completely your decision - good luck, whatever you decide.
Hi 95980,
Thanks for sharing all this info with the community. As far as I'm aware, most of us here (including me) are not diagnosticians, and I feel like you're giving us a lot of power to give or deny you permission to explore this part of you when you know yourself best. Lots of what you've described (the daydreaming, short-term memory things, anger in response to certain sensory stimuli) does remind me of ADHDers I know, and the sensory experiences you describe remind me of some autistic people's experiences, with the proviso that I've heard anecdotally about how trauma can also impact sensory processing. There is crossover between all three strands - ADHD, Autism, and PTSD - and sometimes it can be hard for those who are holding more than one of those to tell which is at the root of which experience. Ultimately, again, you know your own experiences better than anyone, as much as I also totally get the uncertainty around who you are. I think this makes it all the more important that you give yourself the space to explore what speaks, draws, and resonates with you. In case this is ever helpful to know, much of the autistic community is very welcoming of self-diagnosis, and also very receptive to questions, as I think this forum demonstrates. I hope you can feel welcome here, if you choose to stay. Good luck with whatever your next steps end up being.