New here, my partner was recently diagnosed.

Hi

I am new here, my partner of 4 years was recently diagnosed with Autism 1, they said this was Aspergers before? He is in his 50's.   I was very aware he was when I met him, little things and all his kids have ASD/ADHD.   I hope to learn more and understand more so our relationship continues.  My daughter has ADHD so already have a neurospicy household.  Hoping for advice from other neurotypical brains who live with neurodiverse brains.  Hoping it gives him access to others and helps him better understand himself.   He has been hugely let down by others in his life in the past.

Parents
  • I hope to learn more and understand more so our relationship continues.  My daughter has ADHD so already have a neurospicy household.  Hoping for advice from other neurotypical brains who live with neurodiverse brains.

    Hi and welcome to the community!

    I'm currently part way through a book that aims to help autistic / NT couples to work on their relationships through improved mutual understanding and communication. It includes exercises for (ideally both) partners to complete, reflect on and discuss.

    I can see the book being really useful in my own relationship (but want to finish reading it for myself first, before getting my NT partner involved). Perhaps it might also be of interest to you:

    Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner - Paperback - 3 May 2012 - by Cindy Ariel

    (It was written when "Asperger's" was still a diagnostic term, whereas it's now diagnosed as Autism Spectrum Disorder - as you rightly note)

    Caveat: between one issue / scenario and the next, the author keeps switching the gender pronouns around. In one scenario, the male is autistic, but in the next it's the female, etc. This can become confusing at times and I find it very frustrating, as I keep needing to check / remind myself "which partner is autistic this time?" But the trouble is worth the effort, I feel.

Reply
  • I hope to learn more and understand more so our relationship continues.  My daughter has ADHD so already have a neurospicy household.  Hoping for advice from other neurotypical brains who live with neurodiverse brains.

    Hi and welcome to the community!

    I'm currently part way through a book that aims to help autistic / NT couples to work on their relationships through improved mutual understanding and communication. It includes exercises for (ideally both) partners to complete, reflect on and discuss.

    I can see the book being really useful in my own relationship (but want to finish reading it for myself first, before getting my NT partner involved). Perhaps it might also be of interest to you:

    Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner - Paperback - 3 May 2012 - by Cindy Ariel

    (It was written when "Asperger's" was still a diagnostic term, whereas it's now diagnosed as Autism Spectrum Disorder - as you rightly note)

    Caveat: between one issue / scenario and the next, the author keeps switching the gender pronouns around. In one scenario, the male is autistic, but in the next it's the female, etc. This can become confusing at times and I find it very frustrating, as I keep needing to check / remind myself "which partner is autistic this time?" But the trouble is worth the effort, I feel.

Children
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