Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I'm newly joined as I have just been diagnosed as autistic at age 63.
Looking to discuss strategies people use to get used to the idea of being confirmed as autistic, and tips for contacting groups etc.
Just noticed my hopeless typos so will say hi and welcome and I am in my mid 50s diagnosed
Ho welcome my friend I am on y mid 50s just diagnosed.Your local council should sign post you plus your GP.I would also suggest some talk therapy as that I found helpful and they recommended a support group
I'm with Ian on this. Socialising is more of a compromise for me. I think the more up to date thinking is that special interests are fine. We can't be reprogrammed and doing so can be traumatic. But doing things for love and compromise is totally fine. Learn social skills, as they do help but still be your great self, and don't change yourself.
NAS94977 said:obsessional interests which give me enjoyment but stifle social opportunities.
It helps to consider if you actually want those social opportunities though - I find my wife keeps pushing me to do more "normal" social stuff when I really don't enjoy it.
If I take time with my special interests (reading my sci-fi and fantasy library at the moment) then I am much more relaxed and with greater energy for the social events I do attend.
I do need to make sure I find a balance between doing what is right for me and what is right for her - a challenge sometimes as she loves dancing and I hate most nightclubs. Sometimes I need to just deal with it, take a bunch of headache tablets and put up with the sweatly, drunken bodies dancing to unbearably loud music.
The things we do for love, eh!
Hello Iain, many thanks for your reply. I've just ordered a couple of books, thank you for your suggestions.
I am waiting to return to counselling and now I have my diagnosis, my counsellor will put me on autism courses he runs, as well as being able to discuss my diagnosis in our 1-1 sessions.
Dealing with childhood traumas around undeveloped social skills will be a big focus for me, as well as obsessional interests which give me enjoyment but stifle social opportunities.
Welcome to the forum.
If you are a reader then there are a few books that can provide a lot of context and advice for those in your situation:
Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome - Wylie, Philip_ Beardon, Luke_ Heath, Sara (2014)ISBN 9781849054331
Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)ISBN 0764525476
I found it most helpful to start with a therapist who understands autism well - they gave me lots of pointers to other resources relevant to my specific autistis traits, talked me though working out what was autism and what was just me as an individual, unpacked early life traumas that were still having an impact and helped me develop better coping strategies for autistic traits that were intrusive for me.