Hi I’m new .

Hi Kay, welcome to the community. I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing with your daughter. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to support her-and that'sfabulous-she needs you more than ever when she's struggling. Dealing with a child who has autism and is awaiting an ADHD assessment can be incredibly tough-I struggled when I was at school-it was tough for me and my mum then. 

When it comes to handling her misbehaviour at school-it might be helpful to work closely with her teachers and school counselors to develop a behaviour plan targeted to her needs-this was the help given to me and it made a huge difference! Consistency is key-so ensuring that everyone involved in her care is on the same page can make a big difference-as well as the strategies you've already tried-you might want to consider seeking support from professionals who specialise in working with children with autism and ADHD. They can provide you with additional tools and techniques to help manage her behaviour more effectively. 

Above all, remember to be patient with both yourself and your daughter. It's a challenging journey, but with the right support and resources, you can find strategies that work for her and you.

It was a long road-but with the right support-things became a whole lot easier for me-and I'm sure they will for you and your daughter-I really hope you can both find the support you need. 

Thank you . 
The teachers put her on a behaviour plan, offered lots but still not working.  
It’s now causing problems at home because of discussion about school causes meltdowns . 
I just don’t know what to do for the best . 
we talk it through and she does the same. If I take her electronics it can lead to aggression. Should I get involved when it’s things in school 

or should I just be her safe place. 
I feel with me getting involved I’m losing our bond if that makes sence. 
I just want her to be happy but except the help the school are offering . 
Thank you 

Hi Kaylee and welcome 

My son is 9yrs old and is autistic. He has had therapy sessions weekly for 10 months now, this has helped him to unmask but we do  get outbursts and more anger now. He is never violent and I’m happy for him to let his frustration out in this way. I guess for you and with your daughter’s age this is a lot more intense and I’m really sorry for that. 
I don’t have a lot of advice and apologies to the other members if I’m repeating something I have already said to others. I keep a daily diary for my son, in the diary I write down triggers, situations and what behaviour and words were used. I try to put as much detail as I can without waffling on. This not only helps me find ways around things and come up with distractions but also helps me see behaviour patterns. It is so helpful. Every week I forward his diary entries to his therapist (not for her to bring this up in the sessions) but so she has a strategy ready for him if he brings it up. 
II have also recorded any meetings I have had with the school and anything that was offered or discussed, this helps me keep track of how they are doing their job and helps me intervene if I need to. 
Are you happy with how the school are supporting your child? Do you have meetings to discuss things from time to time? 
I have found with many things in life you have to remind people that you are still there in order for things to not slip. 

Just a few thoughts and hope they are of some help to you and your child. 

Good luck 

I’m really sorry for you. I do understand to a point but like I said my son has not reached that age yet. I don’t think I could comment on weather removing her electronics is a good or not so good thing really, at the moment for my son time doing that helps him to regulate and wind down after a day of masking at school. It’s a useful tool for us but we do control how much time he spends. We very often find getting him outside doing some physical play helps him get rid of the negative energy and I very often join in with him. I must let you know that I am also ND which is why I understand when and why my son struggles sometimes…. We just have an understanding and a strong connection.
It must be very difficult for your child also and it’s a really tough time becoming an adult, I remember feeling very uncertain and just getting through school. I would very often get myself sent out of the classroom from being a clown, I could not say why I did that and given that I hated being in any kind of trouble doesn’t make sense to me to this day. Maybe it’s just fitting in and acceptance of some sorts? 
I would say just reassure her that you love her and just want her to be happy and that you just want to help so that she can support herself later on in life. 
Could you probably have some allocated time together just the two of you and perhaps do something nice that you both enjoy? 

I do wish you all the best

I’m really sorry for you. I do understand to a point but like I said my son has not reached that age yet. I don’t think I could comment on weather removing her electronics is a good or not so good thing really, at the moment for my son time doing that helps him to regulate and wind down after a day of masking at school. It’s a useful tool for us but we do control how much time he spends. We very often find getting him outside doing some physical play helps him get rid of the negative energy and I very often join in with him. I must let you know that I am also ND which is why I understand when and why my son struggles sometimes…. We just have an understanding and a strong connection.
It must be very difficult for your child also and it’s a really tough time becoming an adult, I remember feeling very uncertain and just getting through school. I would very often get myself sent out of the classroom from being a clown, I could not say why I did that and given that I hated being in any kind of trouble doesn’t make sense to me to this day. Maybe it’s just fitting in and acceptance of some sorts? 
I would say just reassure her that you love her and just want her to be happy and that you just want to help so that she can support herself later on in life. 
Could you probably have some allocated time together just the two of you and perhaps do something nice that you both enjoy? 

I do wish you all the best