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Hi from mum in Scotland with 15yr old

MrsBoo

Hello all,

I have a 15 yr old son in S4 who has fairly recently been finally formally diagnosed with Aspergers. It's been a long battle, but now we are facing an even bigger one... his exams! Let alone the fact that his year group is the first to sit the new style! He is really testing my patience (hence my cry for help/advice) as is so stressed out with the pressure of the coursework & impending exams. His approach now is to simply switch off & refuse to do anything! Is there anyone out there who has recently been through this & can reassure me that qualifications are not the be all & end all??! He absolutely loves engineering & was lucky enough to get a work experience at Rolls Royce which he loved & did well at (no surprises there), but I fear he will not get the grades required (definitely not in English) in order to do any further engineering course (after doing S5) or apply for an apprenticeship. He would leave school tomorrow if he had the choice as the thought alone of having to write an essay, even on science for part of his final exam grade is too much.

Thanks in advance & sorry for the rant Embarassed

Parents

  • Hello MrsBoo,

    This is the first time I have posted and as you can see from my profile I work with adults with more server disabilities than you son.  However, I do also work as a mental health support worker.  I work with a guy who is doing open university as a very high level.

    As I'm sure you're aware, routine and structure are things that we all need and thrive off, despite hating the alarm and the slogg of getting up every morning, we all need it for good mental health.  I'm almost 33 now and I hate exam or being tested on anything - hates is a strong word but it is correct here.  I become very anxious, upset and aggressive - I was particularly verbally aggressive to my Mum because I knew how much she loved me and would put up with me.

    Like i said, I'm not very experienced with people such as your son but thought I might suggest, probabley the obvious, which to make a study timetable with him with rewards at the end, keeping the time on these slots just below were his concentration becomes exhausted, even if it's as little as 15 minutes, and then he gets 10 or 15 minutes to do something he enjoys (computer games I imagine!).

    I'm sure he will excel at the science aspects of his courses.  He should be receiving specific help with how to structure an essay - small bitesize pieces would maybe suit him.

     

    As he has been diaganoised with aspergers, it seem unfair to make him sit English literarure, where as the rules of the English language may appeal to him.  Of course, I am being very presuptious that he doed not have a learning disabilities.

    There are many organisation out there that help people manage their axiety - have you heard of 'Venture Scotland', if your soon son like the outdoors this may be something to look into, very good for confidence building and meetig peers, as well as good role models.

    As to you seeking reassurance that exams are not thebe all and end all, having studied myself I would say the opposite is true now; employers want ecperience, committment as passion.

    I would definitiley get you sone to check out some of the open university course, which are much better respected than years gone by.

Reply

  • Hello MrsBoo,

    This is the first time I have posted and as you can see from my profile I work with adults with more server disabilities than you son.  However, I do also work as a mental health support worker.  I work with a guy who is doing open university as a very high level.

    As I'm sure you're aware, routine and structure are things that we all need and thrive off, despite hating the alarm and the slogg of getting up every morning, we all need it for good mental health.  I'm almost 33 now and I hate exam or being tested on anything - hates is a strong word but it is correct here.  I become very anxious, upset and aggressive - I was particularly verbally aggressive to my Mum because I knew how much she loved me and would put up with me.

    Like i said, I'm not very experienced with people such as your son but thought I might suggest, probabley the obvious, which to make a study timetable with him with rewards at the end, keeping the time on these slots just below were his concentration becomes exhausted, even if it's as little as 15 minutes, and then he gets 10 or 15 minutes to do something he enjoys (computer games I imagine!).

    I'm sure he will excel at the science aspects of his courses.  He should be receiving specific help with how to structure an essay - small bitesize pieces would maybe suit him.

     

    As he has been diaganoised with aspergers, it seem unfair to make him sit English literarure, where as the rules of the English language may appeal to him.  Of course, I am being very presuptious that he doed not have a learning disabilities.

    There are many organisation out there that help people manage their axiety - have you heard of 'Venture Scotland', if your soon son like the outdoors this may be something to look into, very good for confidence building and meetig peers, as well as good role models.

    As to you seeking reassurance that exams are not thebe all and end all, having studied myself I would say the opposite is true now; employers want ecperience, committment as passion.

    I would definitiley get you sone to check out some of the open university course, which are much better respected than years gone by.

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