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Postings get hijacked for all kinds of reasons, and while 9 and 16 ages have quite different issues, I'm sure the thread can accommodate more than one individual. If not, whoever feels left out a bit can start a new thread, or the Moderators can split the thread so you both get fair hearing.

With regard to chopper's son, there is plenty of this in the literature. School can make it very difficult for an individual on the spectrum to feel confident to have an independent voice.

Also if he is quiet check for bullying - which is extraordinarily common for people on the spectrum - such bullying is usually subtle, making fun of the effects the disability has, and your son may find it difficult to speak about it.

With moving on to college or university, the peer pressure is very different, and he may improve.

Confidence is hugely important, and self-esteem. Schools are very interventionist and if you are different it can feel very far from conducive.

With Miemar38, is the interest in deli counters more about obsessive interest than sensory overload? The noise from fridges would usually upset someone with sensory overload. Is there a related interest you could move him towards that would make him less intrigued by what's round the back of deli counters - food catalogues, recipe books for delicatessen, books on shop refrigerated display units with lots of pictures?

The more usual sensory problems in supermarkets are the noise of fridges, air conditioning and tannoys, voices in other aisles, the noise of tills, congestion with other people's trolleys and baskets. I suspect most parents have difficulty getting their kids into supermarkets....can't be many that like them.

Postings get hijacked for all kinds of reasons, and while 9 and 16 ages have quite different issues, I'm sure the thread can accommodate more than one individual. If not, whoever feels left out a bit can start a new thread, or the Moderators can split the thread so you both get fair hearing.

With regard to chopper's son, there is plenty of this in the literature. School can make it very difficult for an individual on the spectrum to feel confident to have an independent voice.

Also if he is quiet check for bullying - which is extraordinarily common for people on the spectrum - such bullying is usually subtle, making fun of the effects the disability has, and your son may find it difficult to speak about it.

With moving on to college or university, the peer pressure is very different, and he may improve.

Confidence is hugely important, and self-esteem. Schools are very interventionist and if you are different it can feel very far from conducive.

With Miemar38, is the interest in deli counters more about obsessive interest than sensory overload? The noise from fridges would usually upset someone with sensory overload. Is there a related interest you could move him towards that would make him less intrigued by what's round the back of deli counters - food catalogues, recipe books for delicatessen, books on shop refrigerated display units with lots of pictures?

The more usual sensory problems in supermarkets are the noise of fridges, air conditioning and tannoys, voices in other aisles, the noise of tills, congestion with other people's trolleys and baskets. I suspect most parents have difficulty getting their kids into supermarkets....can't be many that like them.