Introduction

Hi. 

I'm Char and new to this site. I've spent the first 20 or so years of my life not fitting in any where and feeling like a ghost because it feels like most people don't see me or even acknowledge I exist half the time.

My autism diagnos has brought me some comfort though. It's nice to know why I'm different but it is still hard navigating my way through life. My mental half is terrible! I find life hard and there's no support for the autism. I've had support from mental health but they completely disregard my autism diagnosis and most of the time it feels like I'm in it on my own. 

When my mental health gets bad I've just got to fight and hold on to the thought that I'll get through it. It went from bad to worse after my Gran passed away 4 years ago. It was my first family death and even now I'm still incapable of processing the fact it happened. 

I don't work, I've tried before on more than one occasion and each time my mind nearly collapsed.

I'm on esa for the foreseeable which upsets me because I feel guilty that I should be working.

Mostly during the day I'm exhausted and spend it in bed. I'm always tired which I think might be from burnout. Some days I'll do some writing or try to read something but most of the time I'm in bed feeling wrecked.

Sorry, this is meant to be an introduction in a strange sort of way. As you can tell already I'm rubbish at this sort of thing!

Parents
  • Hi Char Wave 

    welcome to the site, I thought I’d say hello back.

    I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying. I find mental health professionals are clueless to autism. They probably have done a 5 minute e-learning on it years ago and practically avoid thinking that autism is real thing! It is a shame though, as there is no support for autism in adults, and it will often lead to mental health issues. I have only found using forums such as this, to be the only support I get. But I’m finding taking very slow “baby” steps into accessing other forums/whatsapp groups/local community groups with other autistic people and think these will also really help. 

    don’t find not working guilty. You cannot help it. Also, I still don’t think jobs are set up to be accessible enough for autistic people. Just doing the interview seems impossible! Hopefully as jobs become more accessible and accepting of autistic people, maybe there could be an opportunity to work in the future. But don’t feel guilty you can’t now. Maybe consider looking at volunteering opportunities for something you are passionate about, as that can usually be a really good step into employment and something to put on the CV.  

    Have you recently been diagnosed with autism?

Reply
  • Hi Char Wave 

    welcome to the site, I thought I’d say hello back.

    I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying. I find mental health professionals are clueless to autism. They probably have done a 5 minute e-learning on it years ago and practically avoid thinking that autism is real thing! It is a shame though, as there is no support for autism in adults, and it will often lead to mental health issues. I have only found using forums such as this, to be the only support I get. But I’m finding taking very slow “baby” steps into accessing other forums/whatsapp groups/local community groups with other autistic people and think these will also really help. 

    don’t find not working guilty. You cannot help it. Also, I still don’t think jobs are set up to be accessible enough for autistic people. Just doing the interview seems impossible! Hopefully as jobs become more accessible and accepting of autistic people, maybe there could be an opportunity to work in the future. But don’t feel guilty you can’t now. Maybe consider looking at volunteering opportunities for something you are passionate about, as that can usually be a really good step into employment and something to put on the CV.  

    Have you recently been diagnosed with autism?

Children
  • Hi thank you for such a lovely reply. 

    I find mental health professionals really frustrating and in the past they have made things harder because their approach is so anti ASD. I struggle with talking because of my social awkwardness and anxiety and before when it took me a while to respond I was accused of avoiding questions. They don't understand and a lot of the problems is they don't try. It's very stressful to deal with them. I've been practicing mindfulness and new distraction techniques, this has been helping me more than the professionals.

    I've been trying to get out a bit more as well, walks through the country and to the park on a Sunday morning when it's quiet. 

    I think you're really sensible taking things slowly and doing baby steps. This is what I've been trying to do just go slow and try not to get too worked up with things and myself.  I'm not always successful at it but I am trying. Slow and steady wins the race so I'm hopeful I'll get there eventually. 

    I hope it helps and works for you as well. Just try to do what makes you comfortable and if pressure builds then take a break. This is the approach I'm using. 

    I completely agree! Jobs are not very accessible for autistic people. This has been my experience from the little one actually worked. Ideally I would work from home but I've no idea what I would do. I love writing and dream of being an author but everything I write I'm super critical about. But it's something I consider a lot. So far the jobs I tried was at McDonald's which was absolute hell and then at Savers. Both were massively inappropriate for me and I didn't last more than a few days.

    Volunteering might be a good approach to start gently, small baby steps. I'll look in to this... thank you for the suggestion! If it's in an appropriate environment, like a small shop then I should be all right hopefully. 

    Yes I've only just been diagnosed. It's something I wondered about for ages which is why I pressed for a diagnosis. At first I was diagnosed with anxiety and then bi polar but I knew there was something else. 

    So so relieved when I got my autism diagnosis. It's brought me a lot of comfort and self understanding. 

    Thanks again for replying Slight smile