Published on 12, July, 2020
All my life I struggled with almost everything and felt terrible because everyone else was able to do things I couldnt. Id be in trouble for not doing things right, told I didnt listen when I didnt understand stuff & generally made to feel not good enough.
I started off being told I was shy, then suffered anxiety, forced into cbt to change the way I thought (this didnt work and I refused to go back after being talked to terribly) then finally a friend suggested I was tested for autism. My dr told me I was definately not autistic as it would have been picked up as a child, she refused to request a referral then said id have to travel really far for it and pay etc. I said I didnt care and long story short a few weeks later I was referred locally and diagnosed within 2 hours by a lovely lady who told me I didnt need cbt, I needed to understand how mybrain worked not change howi thought!!
Anyway now I have a diagnosis but thats it. The woman I was told to call referred me to someone else who is on holiday for a week so im just a bit confused and feeling very alone. From what ive seen online so far there is loads of support fro adults who have children with autism but not so much for the adults with it.
Any help, info, chat, shared stories etc would bewelcomed. X
I was pushed into CBT for depression and anxiety a few years ago and I just couldn't do it. It wouldn't click and make sense, in fact it felt like a punishment rather than a helping therapy. No one spotted I had autism even though people joked about my autistic tendacies throughtout my life. It became the 'in' joke - even more so at work.
I decided to push for a diagnosis based on my experience from the autistic people I support, the way I felt and from what others told me. When it was confirmed it started to make sense. I've been getting the wrong treatment for most of my life. Medication for anxiety and depression wasn't getting to the root cause.
Im only two months diagnosed but I feel I've come on a lot more as a result. I think in time when I'm fully out and comfortable with my label, things will improve further as people will know why I have my quirks and accept it. That's the problem I think when you're at the high functioning end of the spectrum and you're good at hiding the behaviours to fit in.
I hope you'll find that things will improve over time too. I keep telling myself I got to 46 on my own merit so surely I've got over the worst of it.
Lee.