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Newbie here - need all the advice I can get!

Littlemissnikig

Hi all

I am Mum to two beautiful boys aged 4 and 6.  My 4 year old Joshua was only diagnosed as having ASD yesterday so still a bit shell-shocked.  Even though I was convinced he had ASD all along, having it confirmed still shook me a bit.

However - we're taking it as a positive and can't wait to get hold of some the help that's out there - particularly with his challenging behaviour.

Would welcome any help and advice anyone can give me!!!

  • Don't be too hard on yourself, of course your boy is just your boy, why would you go looking for a diagnosis for him? Like you, I always knew my daughter was different, that she was hard to handle at times, but even as a mum of 3 I didn't recognise that ASD could be a possibility until last year. She's 9 now and the youngest of 3, the other two are boys and I just thought the way she was was part of being a girl! Wink

    Having a diagnosis for him means that he will hopefully get the support he needs from school. I've found the older generation quite often don't 'get it' my daughters paternal grandparents are the same, all you need to concentrate on is what's best for your son. I wouldn't worry about the 'label' either - in my opinion it's better for a child to have a label and understand why they struggle with things other kids find easy, than be 'beating themselves up' thinking they're stupid or weird. My daughter says it's not her that's weird it's everyone else!

    Good luck with it all, have a look round the home pages here for more information, I've found reading as much as I can about Aspergers has helped me and my daughter. Also some books you might like to try for your son if he is aware of the possibilty he has Aspergers are 'Can I Tell You About Asperger Syndrome?' and the Kathy Hoopman books, my daughter particularly enjoyed 'The Blue Bottle Mystery' and refers to things about the character in it who has Aspergers quite often.

  • Hi All, I have had trouble with my little boy's behaviour since the day he started school. I have been called in to discuss issues on numerous occasions. he is now 8 in Year 4 and spent the majority of year 3 working with the behaviour improvement team.

    He was then reffered on an individual basis and after speaking with the SENCO last week I have been informed they are going down the route of Aspergers/autism. It has come as a big shock - not only has this knocked me sideways but my Mum thinks the school is wrong and are trying to label him.

    After speaking with the SENCO and listening to the reasons why they are going down this route - I am wondering how I didn't see it before! I feel like such a failure - I have told only a few people and their 1st reaction is did you not know?? Well no, not really it never crossed my mind. He was my 1st child and I knew it was very difficult bringing him up but it was just who he was. 

    I am under so much pressure - battling in my mind with my Mum's views and also with what the school is telling me. Every day I collect him from school and feel sick with worry that the teacher will pull me in to discuss another incident! I just wish I could be there with him to guide him but I understand he needs to learn to stand on his own 2 feet.

    My biggest concern is how will this affect him as he grows up, will he lead a full and happy life - will this label make people treat him different. Because what ever happens it doesn't change who he is, he is my brilliant boy, an individual who struggles with the world around him Frown

  • Thanks for your message. That's one of the things that I'm most looking forward to - being able to take him places where neither he or we are judged and making friends who have children that we can invite round.  We try to avoid inviting children round to our house as it's just heartbreaking and frustrating for all when other children keep getting hit and kicked and we daren't go round to other people's houses as it's just too stressful!

  • Hi,

    Thanks for your reply to Newbies comment.  My 14 year old son was diagnosed in October.  We too felt it was a positive as he has been having such a rough time at school, and it's engouraging to hear that your son is now doing well at school.

    My son is struggling, it seems, mainly because he doesn't understand what is required of him, and doesn't know how to ask his teachers or us, he just comes home and tunes into his computer, to relax and escape. I don't know how to communicate with him, possibly because I am also on the spectrum (my GP has reffered me for an assessment).  I can see that the diagnosis is just the first step to a new life, feeling a bit daunghted at the moment.

    Hope your son is sucessful achieving Head Boy, you must feel very proud of him.

  • My best advice is to join a face to face support group as well.  You and your children will make friends and share the journey not only of your son but others as well.

    You will get a lot out of networking with those who are in similar shoes.   

    Just to let you know my eldest has had a very rough journey but has now been short listed for head boy In a mainstream school. 

    I wish you well

  • Hi - welcome to the site Smile.  It can take a while to get used to the diagnosis, even if you were expecting it.  It's nothing you can rush.  There are lots of posts here from parents who have rec'd a diagnosis for their child so have a look around if you haven't already.  Also lots of info via the home pg.  Everyone understands.  If you tell us a bit about his challenging behaviour maybe we can help?  Ask anything you want.