late discovered autistic woman - help what next........

Welcome to you and I hope you find the support the guidance you require. 

I I'm a recently diagnosed person with autism in their early forties. I have spent the majority of my life working in special educational Needs, so I was under the impression that I knew a lot about autism, however it was very interesting to begin learning that the only experience I had, which autism from a learning needs point of view. In reality there are formal people in the world who have autism without learning needs than do. 

That is a range of different literature out there which is a great way of starting your journey of understanding and hopefully embracement of the condition. I began by reading Tony atwoods guide to aspergers. 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-Guide-Aspergers-Syndrome-ebook/dp/B0050IY61G

DDon't let the title put you off, since publication and changes in attitudes, the term Asperger's and autism are quite interchangeable and don't specifically preclude someone with autism from understanding more about their condition. 

The book mixes quotes from Hans Asperger's original 1944 texts describing the condition, and contemporary accounts from people of a modern generation. It is a useful comparative tool to show how regardless of the decade, being autistic appears to have some universal similarities. 

Much of what is written probably won't be a surprise to you, but it is reassuring to hear how these collective similarities and ways in which the autistic mind perceived the world is felt by many.

There will be topics like "stimming" the way in which autistic people can take comfort from repetitive motions or "jigs" - and the embarrassment it can sometimes produce! Bullying at school; special interests and obsessions - and loads of other things which might make you think "yeah! I do that!"

Having all these things laid out, helps you to recognize the reason you do things, why you do things, and so will help you and your family understand you better. 

Welcome to the family

Absolutely! Aucademy are brilliant and deliver training to such staff, albeit they are a very small group of autistic educators so probably don’t have the scope to expand to government professionals etc…

I am part of the Aucademy social group would you like join?

 If so, here is the link:

https://aucademy.co.uk/aucademy-autistic-only-closed-groups/

Age 53 here, diagnosed in 2021, Irish Catholic background, older gay man, late diagnosis, still no post-diagnosis assessment, so still have no idea what my support needs are (it’s scandalous that this is still not a basic legal entitlement nor basic legal obligation on all public bodies and NHS) - the link provided below seems pretty comprehensive as a training course in itself, which aside from this forum and the NAS website is the only adult autism support available here in the U.K. 

This should be basic training for all NHS professionals, government employees and jobcentre staff as a basic legal requirement to take this week long course 

Glad you're enjoying feeling liberated by your diagnosis, I did too, it was like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I'm "out" with being autistic, that feels right for me, it might not feel right for you, its a personal desicion. I find being upfront about it helps seperate the wheat from the chaff in terms of people I meet and potential friends, there are those that will back away because they're scared or something and those that are OK and a few that will tell you of their diagnosis. I find it helps me, finding a load of "different" people all hiding in plain sight, getting on with life, those who go away I'm glad they do before anymore invesment is put into them and those that are just generally OK are great, they're the ones who I can have really good conversations with when the NT world confuses me.

I'd just keep doing what you're doing and let life unfold around you.

Hi there, Autistic woman in my sixties here.

There are so many books and videos that can help now, but reading threads on here and joining in when you wish is the best way to feel accepted and help you find your true self, in my opinion.

Hope you enjoy chatting with us.

Congratulations on your autistic discovery!

In terms of next steps you may find this link below helpful:

https://aucademy.co.uk/starting-your-autistic-discovery-journey/

I'm not yet diagnosed officially but since my realisation I've found that learning more about it, such as watching videos on YouTube/ listening to podcasts by women with autism helps me reach a greater point of understanding about me and my past, and also gives me a since of comfort.

I personally struggle with loneliness as I feel a disconnect with most of my peers and it is common for me to feel isolated/ excluded in social settings and at work etc.. when I start feeling this way I have a list of quotes / little sayings in my notes app in my phone which I can read to myself. These are focused on my recognizing my value to be completely separate to how I may be perceived by others, and also shift my focus from the people who reject me to appreciating the people (or other beings such as pets) in my life who accept me exactly as I am. I got my quotes from chatgbt, but Pinterest is also a good place for that.

A lot of the time the quotes work for me and I start feeling better and get on enjoying the day. But sometimes (especially after drinking - watch your alcohol intake as it's a depressant) it isn't enough. When I feel like that I post on here, or I try to find meaningful new connections through apps such as Bumble BFF (Google it if you're unfamiliar) / Bumble for friends - these apps are also quite normalized by the general population now too. I think it's natural to feel these feelings when you lack genuine connections, as it goes against some of the survival areas of our brain to be alone. Therefore being active in trying to change that situation can also be helpful, but I think seeking out genuine connections (even though it can be difficult) as opposed to any connection (where you will likely end up masking) is the way to go. 

If im still feeling down, then I seek out mental health support through therapy. You should always be aware of the numbers that you can call if you get in this state such as Samaritans etc..

The above is just what helps me and my specific struggles. If you have any similar struggles then hopefully it will help you also. Sending you lots of good vibes, good luck on your new journey