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Feeling Isolated and Looking for Connection and Advice

NAS93783
4 months ago

Hi everyone 

I hope you're all doing well. I'm reaching out because I'm feeling quite isolated and could really use some support and advice from people who might understand what I'm going through.

I struggle a lot with socializing. This has made it difficult for me to make and keep friends, and unfortunately, I don't have any friends right now who I can truly be myself around without masking. While I do have friends, they're not close, and I often feel like I have to hide parts of myself when I'm with them.

On the bright side, I have a very supportive boyfriend who I live with, and my parents, who I can also be myself around. They accept me for who I am, and I'm very grateful for that. However, I still feel sad because I don't have any friends with whom I can fully relax and be authentic.

Over the last few months I've began the process of unmasking around my friends, but I've been very hurt in the process and long story short - they've all pretty much backed off / disappeared from my life. I'm not ready to open myself up again just yet to try to make authentic connections. I need some time to recover and focus on accepting my current situation and to reach a place of acceptance and peace with not having true friends.

If anyone else has experienced something similar, how do you cope with feeling isolated or having to mask around most people? Do you have any tips on finding contentment and peace with my current situation while working towards a place where I can open up again?

Thank you so much for reading and any advice you might have.

Parents
  • 4 months ago

    It's the most prominent issue to most autistic people, social situations and relationships are where we really start to notice our different way of thinking and feeling.

    Best advice I can think of is to not put too much pressure on yourself, the other person or the relationship, if it's going to work it'll work best without being forced. It's also best not to exhaust that social battery, the extra processing we do in these situations can be tiring and then make it even harder.

    Don't be hard on yourself if some don't work out, it's better to just have a few good connections than a lot of false ones that you're having to put 200 percent into in order to maintain them.

    The double empathy theory also explains a lot of why we can struggle, I found it helped me understand why I was misunderstood often.

Reply
  • 4 months ago

    It's the most prominent issue to most autistic people, social situations and relationships are where we really start to notice our different way of thinking and feeling.

    Best advice I can think of is to not put too much pressure on yourself, the other person or the relationship, if it's going to work it'll work best without being forced. It's also best not to exhaust that social battery, the extra processing we do in these situations can be tiring and then make it even harder.

    Don't be hard on yourself if some don't work out, it's better to just have a few good connections than a lot of false ones that you're having to put 200 percent into in order to maintain them.

    The double empathy theory also explains a lot of why we can struggle, I found it helped me understand why I was misunderstood often.

Children