High-Funct Aspie.

My Otherhalf is a HFA and has a very sucessful career and relationship and family. He doesnt hide his AS but dosent shout it from the roof tops either. He is good at his job and very clever, so the two, along with working on himself deliberatly to improve his skills and abililties in all areas of his life (luckily one of his passions, as he reads the book (in literally no time at all) or whatever and applies the rules and expects the results :-) The flip side, is that he does get very stressed and when he is floundering he tells me he feels like things are "spiralling out of control" or" I feel very pressured to deliver" and we talk, a lot. His stress levels are noticable to me and I know when i need to kick his butt or hug him - in the old days a hug would have been out of the question, but now he will seek one out :-) So we are a team. 

At work, he rarely goes out with collegues, he invited 2 out for dinner as a xmas party as he wanted to spend time with them but not the rest but mainly as they want to get drunk and he doesnt and he will be going to a leaving party for the first time since i have known him on thursday! 

I of course can not answer for him, but this is just my view as his partner. 

I'm HFA and work full-time for a local council.

As Longman says, even if you manage to keep it all together most of the time there are times when it all gets too much and there is no support for or understanding of that. I'm not open at work about being on the spectrum and find it galling that the council trains its staff in dealing with autistic service users but never for a moment thinks it employs any autistic people.

I'm not comfortable socialising with my colleagues and don't attend leaving dos, Christmas meals etc. This isn't too much of an issue but in some jobs it would be a massive problem.

I'm 42 and have aspergers . I have had a relatively successful career , and was even a school teacher at one point . I now work in the private sector in a job I love . Most people don't realise I'm an aspie at first , maybe I also do a bit of masking as mentioned in previous posts , but I'm now being more upfront with people about my aspergers and find  that people are understanding on the whole.

My previous "career" such as it was, was fraught with the following issues:

• being overlooked for promotion
• being sent on an Assertiveness course (because they erroneously believed I was aggressive - the result soon put them straight)
• getting made redundant because my face didn't fit
• suffering workplace bullying
• going off on stress leave resulting in handing my notice in
• leaving jobs through choice because they weren't what interviews led me to believe they'd be
• getting put on my appraisals that I needed to be more flexible in my approach(!)

...ad infinitum

Since having children, I managed a part-time job (which was the one where I went on stress leave after being bullied) I last worked over 9 years ago.  I don't know that I would manage again in another "traditional" job due to the Aspie burnout I mentioned above.  My coping skills have declined and things are tougher than ever.

I do intend returning to furthering my education (currently in hiatus as I did start doing so), however I don't know whether that will translate into another job.  At the moment, I support my husband's business administratively from home and am an autism advocate through my website and Facebook page and giving advice where I can on forums.  That may be all I can manage to do work-wise.

I agree with Longman regarding the hidden disability issue.  Masking is a curse more than a benefit.

Amazed I've managed to log in, because my security kicks up a dreadful fuss if I try to override, and I feel sorry for those using workplace computers or public access terminals.

"My ears are burning" as the expression goes. So I guess I ought to respond. Yes I did have a career, but it wasn't easy, particularly with regard to missed promotion, not least because sporadic communication difficulties made me appear an unlikely candidate for people management roles.

The employment issue is too little understood. Part of the problem is that for a long time people at the able end of autism/aspergers haven't been considered in research. This is partly because if we haven't registered disabled or accessed support services we aren't on any lists.

However even if you put yourself forward to be considered you mostly get refused or ignored. There is still a strong belief amongst professionals, particularly psychologists and psychiatrists, and also GPs, that if you are able to work you haven't got an autism condition. You're just someone with immaturity problems or delusional.

So the trouble is little is known about the working world of people with autism. Because those that are working don't count. So how does anyone know what happens in the workplace.

I'm coherent most of the time, even quite skilled. Either as a researcher in industry or an academic I've had to develop skills that counter the effects. Its just sometimes, if I'm tired or stressed or there's too much background I lose coherence, both in terms of expressing myself (and appearances) and in terms of understanding others. That undermines my credibility and the reactions of others undermines my self confidence and self esteem. So I can understand why so many withdraw and isolate themselves because these coherence issues are so damaging.

I think that pattern equates to a lot of people deemed abler or "milder" if indeed such a word applies to it.

But because we are being ignored by the scientists the input we could make is lost.

I take Louby's point about it being easier to try to blend in and avoid explaining the impossible.

But that's why suicide and depression is high amongst "able" aspies, and why so many don't stick at difficult work environments. Social coherence problems are very demoralising. The "I'm all right jack" professionals who are so dismissive of able aspergers fail to realise that even periodic loss of coherence and credibility is damaging.

I wish I could do something to change this perception of us amongst the scientists. But the problem is we really are the HIDDEN disability. Either it is so adverse that we are isolated, unemployed and lacking the means of representation. Or we are able, and not taken seriously, and its in our best interests to keep quiet about it and struggle on.

Very convenient for the professionals (and this shabby government). As we are unable to represent ourselves, one way or another, we can be conveniently disregarded.

It is a disability to me.

The problem with Aspergers is that its presentation and outcome is so varied depending on a multitude of different factors. For some, it is a serious disability, for others it is just a 'difference'. A one-size-fits all approach will never capture the variety of experiences, but all I can say is that I wish I did not have it!

When you say others like you, do you mean Aspies that have masked their traits and forged a successful career, or adults on the spectrum no matter their coping status?

As far as I know, people don't realise I have Asperger's as I mask very well and have a social mask, that I slip into, but I can't say I have a successful career and I am suffering Aspie burnout from trying to fit in for so many years.

Longman, who may post on the thread, I believe is retired but had a career as a HE lecturer for years and he is Aspie.

Except for him, I don't know of any others on the forum who are in the same position.