Hi there,
My name is Clare and I moved in with my partner and his 23 year old aspergers son (R) two years ago. His son was at university until July 2013 and things were pretty smooth up until this time, with him only being home during the holidays and spending most of thosse in his room.
I have no knowledge of aspergers, other than what my partner tells me which is usually tagged with a comment along the lines of 'he self-diagnosed and knew he was different'. R's parents did not get an official diagnosis as it never affected R's education and they muddled along. When R's parents separated his mother bought a house without a room for him and I hadn't realised that she found him so difficult to live with that this was her way of managing the situation.
I am struggling to manage on a day to day basis and would welcome advice and support. R doesn't work, spends all day in his bedroom on his bed, he rarely showers or washes his hair, rarely washes his clothes and his bedroom wreeks of b/o. Consequently I shut his bedroom door when he is not in as the smell is overpowering and today this has caused the most terrible row. My partner feels I am unsupportive, I feel my partner does nothing to change the situation by way of giving routines to his son but he tells me he has spent a lifetime trying to do this and R just cannot see the point in washing etc.
I am flummoxed and lost, we are arguing or barely talking and inbetween all of this are my two teenage children who live in the same house as us and I fear they will not want to be here too much longer if things carry on.
I really would welcome some advice from anyone out there in a similar situation.
Thanks for listening, already feeling better!
