Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone!
What the title says really. I'm 31 years old (she/her), never had a diagnosis but the older I get, the more I think I should at least try and get one.
I know it's not a necessity, but there's so many little things that just... make sense. And I don't know whether it'd make me feel better or worse if I got told I have autism.
According to my mother, when I was younger, I showed signs but she refused to get me diagnosed... for reasons she never really explained. Probably just scared to attach that kind of label to me, who knows. I should add that I do have a very good relationship with my mother though.
The things that seem to 'make sense' to me -
- I have keen interests in very niche/specific topics. This was more prominent when I was younger; I couldn't have interests, I had obsessions. And when I say specific I mean like, certain characters from movies, shows or games. This still happens now, just less frequently/obsessively. I think some people call their obsessions with characters their 'comfort characters'?
- Socially, I know how to 'act normal' but it requires a lot of what I call 'social exhaustion' - I can't even spend 8 hours in the office without feeling drained afterwards, and going home and feeling like I can finally act like 'me' again.
- My partner calls it OCD, but I'm unsure if it is - I have to do some things a very specific way, and if I don't do it that way, I've 'messed it up' and have to start again or quit entirely. A good example is when I'm playing certain videos games I cannot progress in a certain area until I've 100% completed everything that's there first. If I rush myself to get to the next bit, it's extremely likely I'll just stop playing that game altogether.
- I quite simply do not understand sarcasm from strangers and people I don't know well.
- I hate and I mean HATE being the centre of attention in any possible scenario. I believe this stems from when I was at school and had a legitimate fear of standing and talking in front of the class. During team meetings at work now, if I have to speak even for a moment and the focus is on me, I'll flush red/get embarrassed and feel very overwhelmed.
- I constantly have to remind myself to ask other people how they are doing, and not always talk about myself. It's not that I don't care about other people because I absolutely do, I just struggle knowing what to say when others talk about themselves without comparing it to something about me/my life.
- I love my friends but I would 100% prefer to be alone any day.
- Routine. Probably the most important thing in my life. If anything breaks my routine, even for a moment, day is ruined. You have to make plans with me at least a week or so in advance or it's not happening.
There's probably more, but those are the key features about myself that I notice the most or have been told about by my partner or friends.
So... is it actually worth getting a diagnosis at this age? Any other adults here who got diagnosed 'late', and did it help you? I'm not even sure *how* to get diagnosed. I'm not familiar with my GP as I recently moved and haven't seen them in person yet, and only registered with them about a month ago.
Any kind comments are appreciated :)
you can try but be warned it may take 8 years of waiting which might dishearten you anyway given how long that time is.but its better to have some form of protection incase. i mean its all positives.... you dont have to tell anyone when you get it or have it out there, but you can use it when you need to incase of protection against stuff like a dodgy employer. so its useful to get it done even if it takes half of your life to get seen.and parents can not get you seen to on these things because they think you will be treated differently... and then in being treated differently in that developmental phase thats what causes you to then be worse and be openly symptomatic and problematic... basically a good parent would want you to be given the same opportunity and upbringing as other kids so that you turn out and fit in with them and society so you can function. i believe this is the difference between functioning and none functioning... the none functioning would have been diagnosed early then taken out of schools treated differently, put in a special school been given basic worse education and so wont grow develop and learn as good which then would make them none functional later in life. i believe parents who dont diagnose their kids knew this and didnt diagnose because they wanted their kid to develope and be functioning.