Hi everyone!
What the title says really. I'm 31 years old (she/her), never had a diagnosis but the older I get, the more I think I should at least try and get one.
I know it's not a necessity, but there's so many little things that just... make sense. And I don't know whether it'd make me feel better or worse if I got told I have autism.
According to my mother, when I was younger, I showed signs but she refused to get me diagnosed... for reasons she never really explained. Probably just scared to attach that kind of label to me, who knows. I should add that I do have a very good relationship with my mother though.
The things that seem to 'make sense' to me -
- I have keen interests in very niche/specific topics. This was more prominent when I was younger; I couldn't have interests, I had obsessions. And when I say specific I mean like, certain characters from movies, shows or games. This still happens now, just less frequently/obsessively. I think some people call their obsessions with characters their 'comfort characters'?
- Socially, I know how to 'act normal' but it requires a lot of what I call 'social exhaustion' - I can't even spend 8 hours in the office without feeling drained afterwards, and going home and feeling like I can finally act like 'me' again.
- My partner calls it OCD, but I'm unsure if it is - I have to do some things a very specific way, and if I don't do it that way, I've 'messed it up' and have to start again or quit entirely. A good example is when I'm playing certain videos games I cannot progress in a certain area until I've 100% completed everything that's there first. If I rush myself to get to the next bit, it's extremely likely I'll just stop playing that game altogether.
- I quite simply do not understand sarcasm from strangers and people I don't know well.
- I hate and I mean HATE being the centre of attention in any possible scenario. I believe this stems from when I was at school and had a legitimate fear of standing and talking in front of the class. During team meetings at work now, if I have to speak even for a moment and the focus is on me, I'll flush red/get embarrassed and feel very overwhelmed.
- I constantly have to remind myself to ask other people how they are doing, and not always talk about myself. It's not that I don't care about other people because I absolutely do, I just struggle knowing what to say when others talk about themselves without comparing it to something about me/my life.
- I love my friends but I would 100% prefer to be alone any day.
- Routine. Probably the most important thing in my life. If anything breaks my routine, even for a moment, day is ruined. You have to make plans with me at least a week or so in advance or it's not happening.
There's probably more, but those are the key features about myself that I notice the most or have been told about by my partner or friends.
So... is it actually worth getting a diagnosis at this age? Any other adults here who got diagnosed 'late', and did it help you? I'm not even sure *how* to get diagnosed. I'm not familiar with my GP as I recently moved and haven't seen them in person yet, and only registered with them about a month ago.
Any kind comments are appreciated :)
