Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone!
What the title says really. I'm 31 years old (she/her), never had a diagnosis but the older I get, the more I think I should at least try and get one.
I know it's not a necessity, but there's so many little things that just... make sense. And I don't know whether it'd make me feel better or worse if I got told I have autism.
According to my mother, when I was younger, I showed signs but she refused to get me diagnosed... for reasons she never really explained. Probably just scared to attach that kind of label to me, who knows. I should add that I do have a very good relationship with my mother though.
The things that seem to 'make sense' to me -
- I have keen interests in very niche/specific topics. This was more prominent when I was younger; I couldn't have interests, I had obsessions. And when I say specific I mean like, certain characters from movies, shows or games. This still happens now, just less frequently/obsessively. I think some people call their obsessions with characters their 'comfort characters'?
- Socially, I know how to 'act normal' but it requires a lot of what I call 'social exhaustion' - I can't even spend 8 hours in the office without feeling drained afterwards, and going home and feeling like I can finally act like 'me' again.
- My partner calls it OCD, but I'm unsure if it is - I have to do some things a very specific way, and if I don't do it that way, I've 'messed it up' and have to start again or quit entirely. A good example is when I'm playing certain videos games I cannot progress in a certain area until I've 100% completed everything that's there first. If I rush myself to get to the next bit, it's extremely likely I'll just stop playing that game altogether.
- I quite simply do not understand sarcasm from strangers and people I don't know well.
- I hate and I mean HATE being the centre of attention in any possible scenario. I believe this stems from when I was at school and had a legitimate fear of standing and talking in front of the class. During team meetings at work now, if I have to speak even for a moment and the focus is on me, I'll flush red/get embarrassed and feel very overwhelmed.
- I constantly have to remind myself to ask other people how they are doing, and not always talk about myself. It's not that I don't care about other people because I absolutely do, I just struggle knowing what to say when others talk about themselves without comparing it to something about me/my life.
- I love my friends but I would 100% prefer to be alone any day.
- Routine. Probably the most important thing in my life. If anything breaks my routine, even for a moment, day is ruined. You have to make plans with me at least a week or so in advance or it's not happening.
There's probably more, but those are the key features about myself that I notice the most or have been told about by my partner or friends.
So... is it actually worth getting a diagnosis at this age? Any other adults here who got diagnosed 'late', and did it help you? I'm not even sure *how* to get diagnosed. I'm not familiar with my GP as I recently moved and haven't seen them in person yet, and only registered with them about a month ago.
Any kind comments are appreciated :)
Yeah, go for it! I was diagnosed at 37 and it's helped make a big difference in my life. That's if you feel the diagnosis would help you understand yourself.
If you feel you're functioning fine in life, it's not exactly 100% necessary.
I wouldn't worry about lack of familiarity with your GP. It's their job to send you details off and you'll be placed in the queue. If you decide to do that, just be prepared to wait a long while. Mine took a half and a half until I was up for assessment and I had to chase it up a lot.